blognut

Happy National Donut Day

2011-06-03T10:20:00.000-04:00

Feeding Donuts To A Pig

2011-05-31T20:01:00.009-04:00

Cornwall, New York's Jones Farm and Country Store fries an immaculate old-fashioned: small, simple rings with a a light pillowy texture and not a hint of oiliness. Over the weekend, as part of my on-going experiment to determine which animals are pro-donut, we offered one to Miss Fern, the farm's pig.

The sniff...

The second sniff...

Success!

Miss Fern, post-donut.

Spring Beers, Spring Music. No Donuts.

2011-04-01T14:40:00.004-04:00

My pal Laura - founder of the always awesome food and music blog, Eating the Beats - kindly invited me to pair some beers with her spring music mix. Have a look.

Valentine's Donut Experiment

2011-02-11T17:01:00.006-05:00

Dunkin' Donuts rarely misses the boat on seasonal donuts - which usually means they dust off a holiday-appropriate vial of food dye and some corresponding sprinkles. But this year for Valentine's Day they've gone all out. HEART. SHAPED. DONUTS.

In a rather hilarious experiment, Men's Health editor Jason Feifer set out to see how girls respond to the gift of donuts for Valentine's Day.

Turkey Donut

2010-11-24T10:54:00.003-05:00

Happy Thanksgiving.

Dough-bama

2010-10-21T19:06:00.003-04:00

I know, you probably thought the doughnut shop was closed. But when the president makes an appearance at Top Pot, it deserves a post.

Thanks to Rick V for the tip.

Doughnuts on Screen: Treme

2010-06-14T22:55:00.004-04:00

Finally catching up on Treme, David Simon's HBO series on post-Katrina New Orleans. I think I like it. Not as much as The Wire, but that's expected. I like the free form plot. It's like a long rambling instrumental at Preservation Hall which is probably what Simon intended. But more importantly: doughnuts! The episode Mrs. B and I watched tonight - I think it's #5 - featured the legendary Cafe Du Monde. CDM opened in 1862 and is probably the oldest continually operating doughnut shop in the country. All they serve is cafe au laits and beignets, piping hot, pillowy French doughnuts with a hollow center and a massive dusting of powdered sugar. I think they also serve juice and soda but no one orders any. The doughnut scene involved Simon's usual uplifting themes - domestic abuse, coke snorting - and resulted in the Annie character bummed out over an order of three.

Eat Manhattan iPhone App

2010-05-10T20:52:00.004-04:00

Hi all. I took a break from doughnuts to write an iPhone app with Sutro Media called Eat Manhattan. It's a guide to dining in Manhattan - from dirt cheap to gourmet - and yes, it includes doughnuts! The Doughnut Plant. The Donut Pub. And more. Plus burgers, pizza, street carts, banh mi and lots of high-class chefs.

Check it out at the iTunes Store and become a fan on Facebook.

Back to doughnuts soon.

Turning Doughnuts Into Other Breakfast Foods

2010-03-10T16:14:00.024-05:00

It's been forever since I last posted. But a recent doughnut breakfast has me motivated again.

Last month, Mrs. B and I were in Florida visiting the in-laws. Besides the doughnuts, highlights included my bi-yearly golfing outing with Mr. P - I lost eleven balls which is two less than last time - making daiquiris in a Jimmy Buffett Margaritaville frozen drink machine, and seeing my fist live armadillo on the side of the highway.

Our first doughnut came from Abbe's in Northport, an endearingly divey little place in a strip mall. It happened to be the shop's birthday - doughnuts were only $.35 cents in celebration - and we sat outside in between a father/son kettle corn team and line of chain smokers waiting for doughnuts. The setting made for an interesting background odor.

We went with an orange. It wasn't so much speckled with fresh, local Florida citrus, as it was flecked with neon, Martian bits, which may or may not have had any taste behind the big, bold fried flavor of the cake dough. Aside from the lack of dicernable orange, not a bad doughnut.

Buddha Belly Donuts

But the better of the two doughnut encounters took place at Buddha Belly Donuts. Buddha Belly is modern and more urban than most doughnut shops. Mrs. P said it was more Ikea than Henredon, who must sell unmodern furtniture. The doughnuts are trendy and somewhat artisan to match; somewhere in between Voodoo and The Doughnut Plant.

Regulars

Buddha Belly Stools

First there was the peanut butter. A light, pillowy raised dough gave way to a super rich, creamy center. Together with the smooth chocolate frosting there was a definite Reese's Cup aspect to the whole thing.

The plain glazed was equally good. Simple, yeasty, sweet and light: the essential glazed descriptors.

So far so good. But the real shocker was Buddha Belly's incorporation of doughnuts into other traditional breakfast foods. I know the "everything with bacon" trend is getting stale, but still, a breakfast sandwich built on a doughnut is inherently WAY more appetizing than a caffeinated bacon sucker pop. We also ordered one with sausage and in both cases sweet glaze and savory pork were natural companions; throw in soft eggy eggs and gooey cheese and the result had Mr. P claiming, "That was one of the finest breakfast sandwiches I've ever had."

Better yet was the doughnut French toast. I'm not sure how this concept has eluded me all these years. But the airy, squishy, pliable dough of most yeast doughnuts is the perfect foundation for French toast. Similar to Hallah bread with the extra essence of fried. Buddha serves their awesomely addictive morning meal with whipped cream and fresh strawberries.

Next up: A backlog of pics from Top Pot in Seattle.

Abbe's Donut Shop
13625 South Tamiami Trail
North Port, FL 34287-2018
(941) 426-5758

Buddha Belly Donuts

1990 Main Street, Sarasota, FL

941-952-0700

Where Donuts Come From

2009-11-15T15:35:00.001-05:00

Thanks to Suzanne for sending this along.

Charles Barkley Foiled

2009-11-06T22:04:00.010-05:00

Last night on TNT's Inside the NBA, Charles Barkley thought he was drinking a doughnut milk shake. But no! It was foie gras. Barkley's sportscaster colleagues were slurping Krispy Kreme shakes from Flip Burger, former Top Chef almost-winner Richard Blais' Atlanta burger spot. But they slipped Sir Charles Blais' bird liver shake to which he responded, "It's not like a Krispy Kreme doughnut."

Watch the full exchange here:

Blognut Meets Bourdain. But Just For A Second.

2009-10-11T01:01:00.011-04:00

Tonight Mrs. B and I saw former New York Times restaurant critic Frank Bruni interview Anthony Bourdain. Afterwards I asked Tony to sign my weird UK edition of A Cook's Tour and snuck in a favorite doughnut question before getting ushered to the meatball station by a Times employee.

Me: Great to meet you Tony. I have to ask, for reasons I don't have time to explain, in all your travels what's the best doughnut you've encountered?

Anthony Bourdain: My favorite doughnut? Huh.

Voodoo Doughnut in Portland Oregon.

Me: Great answer. I had my vows renewed there.

Bourdain doesn't respond verbally but chortles behind a slight smile, which I take to mean he either finds my unnecessary anecdote amusing or - more likely - is ready to move on to the next person who wants a book signed. I'm also paranoid about having called him Tony.

More importantly, Voodoo! Not the Singaporean prawn-fried noodle cake I was expecting. Bourdain visited Voodoo on the Portland episode of No Reservations so I figure it was the first thing to come to mind and get the feeling he hasn't spent a great deal of time thinking about doughnuts. Which is totally fine. Still psyched he mentioned a Blognut favorite. Plus the event was fun and I found out Diet Coke now comes in this awesomly-better-than-plastic metal bottle-can that isn't depressing like the metal Budweiser bottle-can.

Sustainable Donuts in Vermont

2009-09-30T20:23:00.027-04:00

In Vermont you can buy locally made pepperoni at the Shell station. And local cheese. And craft beer. And in the event you forget the maple syrup while traveling, you'll be totally fine because every single establishment you stop in will have at least three kinds in as many sizes. Vermont could succeed tomorrow and be totally self-sufficient where food, drink and pepperoni are concerned.

In certain urban centers – I won’t name names - locavorism has almost become an affect, in the, “I’ll have the Hudson Valley Squab with pickled ramps grown on a roof in Queens and fertilized by ambient heirloom pigeon crap,” kind of way. (Fine, I’m talking about Chicago) But in Vermont, local-sourcing feels natural and refreshingly un-preachy. It’s expected. Assumed. And the quietly fervent regionalism extends to the often un-local donut. Which is why I’m pre-empting my remaining Pacific-Northwest coverage for a quick note on our Green Mountain donut encounters.

Mrs. B and I set out last Wednesday to celebrate our fourth anniversary by sitting in a cabin and toying with the notion of catching our own trout. It was essentially our twelve-year mark if you count the extended courting period and we didn’t catch a thing. Our cabin was 20 miles outside of Montpelier - the only state capital without a McDonald’s - and there were no donuts and no people, except for a friendly woman named Penny who arrived in a pickup one morning bearing towels. There were also lots of huge freaking spiders. It was awesome, but the donuts didn’t happen until we hit Burlington, where we spent our last two days eating, drinking and making jokes about Phish and weed.

Our first morning we trawled the farmer’s market downtown, discovering that Vermont donut dough is incredibly soft. Maybe it’s the water, or the hippies, but every donut we sampled – three vendors total – managed an incredibly soft, pillowy, easy-going dough. And unlike the hippies, all without a greasy residue.

First there was a kind old Church bake sale-type lady selling baked Vermont maple cake donuts. Baked donuts are generally incorrigibly turd-like. But not hers. Imagine the soft dough from above smeared with a smooth, sugary frosting mixed with real Vermont maple syrup. Plus a few sprinkles to distract from all the brown. It had all the flavor of a fried cake but with a lighter disposition and a toasty, caramel-y flavor which tasted totally natural, unlike the artificial tang of most “maple” donuts.

Next was an apple cider cake donut from Shelburne Orchards. Again, super soft and light, though with a slightly firmer fried exterior. There was a nice subtle apple flavor from the homemade VT cider and the cinnamon/sugar coating was in perfect proportion.

The best discovery came last. Dinky Donuts is headquartered in nearby Middlebury, but on the weekends also sets up shop at the market where they sell out quick. With the exception of the sugar, every ingredient in their donuts - the flour, the eggs, the fillings - is locally sourced. We sampled a cinnamon-sugar cake and a plum-filled raised.

The cake was, as expected, perfectly soft and impressionable, but with enough body to fight back. Like our apple cider, the cinnamon and sugar ratio was dead on and the small stature made it an ideal appetizer to the fruity main course.

I should mention that the Burlington farmer’s market is lousy with plums. Like Subarus, they grow lots of them in Vermont, some of which ended up inside our donut. The plum-filled was enormous with the inflated appearance of a maxed-out balloon. The firm, browned exterior gave way to a soft and airy dough which was heartier than most raised donut dough. Somewhere in between a typical raised and typical cake really. The filling tasted like, well, plums: surprising given the cloying nature of most donut innards. In all it was tart, fruity and mildly sweet; and it almost tasted healthy in a fried sort of way.

The plum was so good, a trip to Middlebury was in order. Next up: a visit to the brick and mortar Dinky’s to feed from the source.

Donut Review: Peter Pan's Red Velvet

2009-09-22T21:03:00.004-04:00

Mrs. B and I are on vacation in Vermont for a bit. We will visit the Ben and Jerry's Flavor Graveyard which is surrounded by a white plastic picket fence and contains fake gravestones for - among others - Devil's Food Chocolate and Coffee Coffee Buzz Buzz Buzz , the later of which has a Facebook thread devoted to bringing it back. So far there are six posts. While away Blognut correspondant Marc has stepped in with his take on the enticing Red Velvet from Peter Pan in Greenpoint, Brooklyn, my favorite donut spot in New York.

Purveyor: Peter Pan Donut and Pastry Shop, Greenpoint, Brooklyn

Donut: Red Velvet cake donut

Review: Imagine a really good chocolate cake donut with a light, sweet glaze. Now imagine it redder.

Conclusion: Unlikely to be distinguishable from a standard chocolate cake donut in a blind taste test. If you love chocolate cake donuts and are (a) not alarmed by intense food coloring, or (b) inclined to eat your donuts blindfolded, I wholeheartedly recommend this donut for you.

Ed. Note: Where's the cream cheese frosting? Also, thanks Marc.

Donuts on Screen: Top Chef

2009-09-19T22:25:00.010-04:00

Just getting to this week's Top Chef. I thought Kevin and his beard might take it, or maybe Jennifer, but Bravo really likes having two brothers battle it out. One looks like Tony Hawk. Ashley probably won't take it but she did manage to make donuts out of cactus this week which is unbelievably awesome. Chefs love donut desserts like they love making foie gras hamburgers and getting tattoos, but this is the first I've seen involving succulents. So here they are. Cactus jelly donuts with orange creme anglaise. They actually look great with their pink and orange-y yellowish drizzle. And the judges seemed to like them OK because Ashley didn't lose. But just OK because she didn't win either. I also like when Tom leaves the tent to spit out Mattin's ceviche into the desert.

Donut Review: Toffee For Your Coffee

2009-09-08T19:34:00.015-04:00

Last week Dunkin’ released Toffee For Your Coffee, the winning donut in the megachain’s recent "Create Dunkin's Next Donut" contest. Mrs. Blognut and I are still bummed about losing. Not even top ten!

TFYC is in participating locations through October 6th and over the weekend I scored one from my local store in Carroll Gardens. Considering the bleak state of post-trans-fat Dunkin’ (less flavor, oily residue, etc) and their continued rebranding as a flatbread sandwich shop, the new donut isn’t bad.

The body is a sour cream cake dough. Mine was super soft with a hint of cinnamon and it seemed denser than other DD cake donuts. This might have something to do with the sour cream. I actually thought I detected a mild sourness, but this could’ve been my brain making stuff up and fixating on an ingredient it generally associates with potato skins. On top was a thin layer of see-through glaze for a sugary sweet foundation, but this was mostly eclipsed by toasty toffee and milk chocolate courtesy of the star ingredient: chopped Heath Bar. I’ve never actually had a Heath Bar because I find candy that doesn’t involve peanut butter displeasing. But I think I could get behind Heath. (Side note: most underrated candy bar = 5th Avenue)

A new Dunkin’ donut always calls for my DD coffee mug, which I break out exclusively for Dunkin' occasions. It’s big and wide and holds lots of coffee. And TFYC is actually a perfect dunking donut. It’s firm and dense enough to absorb the coffee with out falling apart or leaving soggy crumbs behind. And a hot cup of bold, chocolaty black – in my case, Stumptown Hair Bender – works great with the rich toffee and chocolate flavors. Action shot:

The verdict on Toffee For Your Coffee: Not bad for a pop-donut. Definitely deserving of a permanent spot on Dunkin’s rack and a first-class dunker.

Caught in the Act

2009-08-29T02:51:00.018-04:00

Introducing "Caught in the Act," a new Blognut column featuring photos of people caught in the act of enjoying a doughnut.

Here's friend and crack freelance doughnut scout Marc taking care of a self-designed banana nut bread doughnut at the Fractured Prune in Baltimore. The other doughnut he created that day combined raspberry, mini chocolate chips, and - get ready - coconut. For the record this dude voluntarily eats something called "Gel Rings" and his favorite sandwich involves turkey, tomatoes, and raisin-walnut cream cheese. And they might actually be called "Jell Rings." Still gross, but having your great aunt's taste in sweets is part of what makes Marc an interesting, blog-worthy figure.

Correction: Marc's candy of choice is actually a Marshmallow Joy.

Dunkin's New "Toffee For Your Coffee" Hits Stores

2009-08-26T20:28:00.009-04:00

Breaking news from Dunkin' today:

The winning donut in DD's recent "Create Dunkin's Next Donut" contest has hit participating stores through October 6th. The "Toffee for Your Coffee" was created by Jeff Hager of Hoover, Alabama. Hager beat out nearly 130,000 other contest submissions by topping a sour cream cake donut with glaze and chopped Heath Bar.

I'm no longer (that) bitter about losing, so look for a fair and balanced review of "Toffee for Your Coffee" in the coming days. And congrats to Jeff!

Bayless to Fry Mexican Doughnuts

2009-08-21T14:15:00.006-04:00

Mexican food wiz and Top Chef Masters winner Rick Bayless is opening a churro spot in Chicago! Churros are long and crispy Mexican doughnuts covered in cinnamon and sugar - they're usually delicious unless purchased on the subway platform and I'm sure Bayless's will kill. He'll also be serving tortas, the often over-looked amazingly good Mexican sandwich that doesn't come on a tortilla. The place is called Xoco and opens September 1st. Also, make sure to buy Rick's Mexican Everyday cookbook, if only because in it he discusses weight lifting and there's a picture of him doing a headstand.

Doctor Fired For Bashing Doughnuts (a marginally less important healthcare debate)

2009-08-18T19:15:00.004-04:00

We know: doctors don’t like doughnuts. But as Florida’s Dr. Jason Newsom found out when he posted anti-doughnut propaganda on a sign outside a Florida health department, doughnuts wield extraordinary power. Or at least county commissioners and lawyers who own doughnut shops do. My pal Kwas said it best: “This doctor went way too far.”

Read the full story here.

Even Buddhist Monks Like Donuts...

2009-08-12T21:19:00.011-04:00

...or at least donut-related beverages.

These fellows are snacking on something delicious involving green and white-ish vegetables, carafes of hot liquid, and - over there in the bottom-right corner - a to-go cardboard box of Dunkin' Donuts coffee! I guess we know where monks stand in the Dunkin' vs Starbucks vs McCafe debate.

Pac-Northwest Donuts Part III: Just Donuts, Not Much Else

2009-08-09T19:52:00.022-04:00

Post-foie-gras donut we strolled by the Willamette River which was relaxing except for maniac mountain bikers careening by at high speeds. Too unsettling, so we headed back to the Subaru and our Voodoos weren’t melted. Phew! Back at the Ace the lighting was dim, but we managed to capture their likeness pretty OK and started with this doughnut which, as you can see, has a handle bar mustache. Mrs. B thinks it was called the Mayor of Portland or some such.

Doughnut With Mustache

The dough was light and pocketed with air – even better than I remember – and had a bright cinnamon-tinged spice with plenty of yeasty, wheaty bread. Blanketing the top was a thick layer of sweet and sappy maple frosting giving the Mayor a shiny brownish complexion; inside a smooth and rich Boston Cream completed the perfectly executed union of dough, maple and dairy – like a portable pancake breakfast shooting a blank stare.

Marshall Mathers

The Marshall Mathers came next. Get it? Small M&Ms. Not much to get actually, but here it is in front of hip Ace Hotel artwork. Didn’t have high hopes for this one, but the colors caught my eye and Mrs. B seemed to enjoy plucking individual candies to feed her unparalleled sugar jones. Definitely one of the few Voodoo disappoinments. The standard cake dough was soft, nicely dense and tasty as usual, but between the gopped vanilla frosting and loads of mini candies: WAY too sweet.

Again, because bacon on a doughnut!

Had better luck with the Bacon Maple Bar, a Voodoo classic which deservedly gets mentioned whenever the press or Bourdain show up. Same outstanding raised dough and maple frosting as before, but elevated to new circles of donutdom by three ultra crisp strips of smoky bacon. Just like the previous pancake analogy, but now the syrup has crept across the plate and encroached the breakfast pork for that glorious morning mess of maple, sweet and meat.

Glazed.

And last: a plain glazed, my favorite. I remember Voodoo’s glazed being good, but not this good! Slightly firm exterior with an ideal fry and a thin layer of shiny, perfectly dry glaze (wet glaze is the worst). The center was incredibly vacuous and melted away instantly leaving a clean, light wheatiness behind. An absolutely perfect doughnut. Top five all time. And all without trans-fat.

Marshall, the Mayor and the 4th of July doughnut from Part II.

Next up: Sad to leave Portland, but lots more doughnuts

I DO NOT ENDORSE FOIE GRAS (just foie gras donuts)

2009-08-03T19:57:00.019-04:00

My food morals are well-defined, but also extremely negotiable when the right animal part comes along: no red meat unless it’s a famous, notable or special occasion cut; no veal, unless it’s in a particularly awesome sounding ragu; and no foie gras, except in extreme circumstances. So really my principles are mostly meaningless. But still, I try. And when it comes to foie gras, I’m not sure my experiences with the plump and fatty delicacy were ever rewarding enough to justify force feeding a goose with a hose.

But on our first night in Portland Mrs. B and I ate at Le Pigeon, and woah (!), a foie gras donut. Definitely extreme circumstances. Le Pigeon (translation: The Pigeon) is one of the best restaurants in Portland; part of the new casual – and heavily tattooed - fine-dining scene. And there it was, under Starters: a $16 foie gras jelly donut. We had to.

It arrived glistening like a glazed on the beach and knocked me out with the force of a dozen Krispy Kremes. Mrs. B - who once referred to garnishing a grilled cheese with tomato slices as "too exotic" - had bailed so I was going at it solo.

So over the top. The soft light dough was stuffed with thick and tart homemade pickled strawberry jam and the top surface smeared with foie gras powdered sugar (not sure what this means), coagulated from the massive piece of seared foie gras balanced precariously on top. We watched the slab slide slowly to the plate and land in a pool of aged balsamic vinegar and more jam, a dose of acidic sweet to balance the intense savoriness. Together the whole thing was unbelievably rich and fruity and dominated by a pleasing gamey, fatty, funk.

Honestly, I’d take a Voodoo glazed any day. But, in terms of memorable donuts, this was up there with the bacon maple bar (more on this in Part III) and the Dominic donut. My meat guilt was sky-high. Damage done. I ordered the steak with duck fat potatoes and bone marrow, which was outstanding.

Digesting by the river.

Giant Tim Horton's Coffee Cup Sighting

2009-07-26T23:25:00.003-04:00

Outside Penn Station; 9:30AM.

Taste-off: Dunkin' vs. Tim

2009-07-21T21:27:00.021-04:00

A quick break from Portland coverage to weigh in on the Tim Horton’s situation. Like I mentioned the other day, the Canadian doughnut giant has hit New York, replacing 12 mostly shoddy Dunkin’ locations. Time Out New York had something to say. And Gothamist. Even the Times.

I've covered Tim Horton’s in the past: once in Toronto, and once in Massachusetts where this plate found its way into Mrs. B’s purse. The fact that a massive corporate doughnut chain uses porcelain dinnerware is undeniably awesome, but Tim’s doughnuts have me torn. I spent my early years in Buffalo, which is really just an extension of Canada and definitely prime Tim territory. So I really want to like their doughnuts. But I've mostly been disappointed and find they lag well behind Dunkin', Winchell's and Krispy Kreme in the pop-doughnut hierarchy. And definitely behind Shipley's. Plus, doughnut-folk and Canadians were outraged a few years back when they started flash-freezing and shipping doughnuts from a 230,000 square-foot factory in Brantford, Ontario (birthplace of Wayne Gretzky).

But in the interest of being fair, this weekend I conducted a clean slate Dunkin’/Tim comparison, opting for head-to-head plain glazed. My Tim doughnut came from their 42nd Street location. I think it's also a KFC. Or possibly a Taco Bell. Or both like in the song. The competition came from my neighborhood DD, which is also a Baskin Robbins.

Dunkin' Glazed

Visually they were similar and for some reason both photos turned out all Fire In the Sky. The Dunkin' had a slightly darker complexion, but each were pale brown and coated with a thin layer of see-through glaze. The dough was soft and simple with a bit of sweetness, a hint of cinnamon and a bright and yeasty Wonder Breadiness. It was light, refreshing and if a doughnut can be considered summery, this was it - the fried counterpart to hefeweizen and watermelon.

Tim Horton's Glazed

Tim's glazed (aka, The Honey Dip) wasn’t bad, but it didn’t compare. The dough was fine - if a bit too bready - but the firm, fried exterior had an unpleasant nuttiness which I assume means Tim’s fries with peanut oil; it totally disrupted any harmony between airy dough and glaze, the critical complement in a good raised doughnut.

So Dunkin' wins, hands down. But in all fairness, Tim Horton’s cake doughnuts aren’t bad at all. I picked up a glazed old fashioned in Herald Square today which was loaded with spicy nutmeg and totally worthwhile.

Tim Horton's Glazed Old Fashioned On Smuggled Tim Horton's Plate

Next up: More Voodoo; also, my pal Marc recently suggested I conquer all 12 Tim Horton's in one day. I'm seriously considering.

Return To Voodoo Part 1

2009-07-14T20:11:00.032-04:00

Voodoo Doughnut is technically a doughnut shop. But it’s really more of a philosophy. The walls are an intoxicating pink. The patrons tattooed. And the occasionally obscene – and always absurdist – doughnuts come decorated with cereal, Tang, bacon and – before the FDA stepped in – Pepto Bismol. And because all existential milestones are better experienced in the presence of fried dough, Voodoo doubles as a wedding chapel and offers something called a “coffin full of doughnuts,” which I assume is just what it sounds like.

Three years ago my wife surprised me with a first anniversary vow-renewal ceremony at Voodoo. Legally ordained minister and Voodoo co-founder Tres Shannon officiated beneath a massive doughnut altar and a velvet portrait of Isaac Hayes. Fruit Loops were tossed in the air (Get it? Like small doughnuts) and Shannon presented us with a life sized doughnut representation of our cat Dominic. It felt wrong eating the head but we managed. The whole thing is detailed in this five-part post, and here’s our cat in doughnut form:

And his head:

That was our first trip to Portland, and we've wanted to go back ever since. And move there really. Because between the coffee, beer, trees, music and food, it’s just about ideal. This time we decided to tour the entire Pacific Northwest, starting in Portland, moving on to Seattle, and ending up in Vancouver where the Tim Hortons flow like Chinook Salmon. We took the red eye and sat beside a women who, between a frantic cycle of make-up removal and application (“Sorry about the light, I’m putting on my face,” she said around 2:00 AM with a thick New York accent) and the violent shaking of a pill bottle, had to be at least partially insane or withdrawing from something. Hence, we got very little sleep and hit our Ace Hotel mattress hard. First thing in the morning we grabbed a Stumptown in the lobby and headed to Voodoo.

Last time we over-indulged in the cereal-topped varieties I mentioned earlier. Like the one with Cocoa Puffs:

The one with Fruit Loops:

And the one with Captain Crunch:

Insane right? What twisted mind cakes a crunchy mountain of Cocoa Puffs on top of a chocolate frosted?! I wouldn’t be surprised if the lady from our flight moonlights as Voodoo’s baker. But this time we stayed away from cereal, save one encounter with Rice Krispies which I’ll get to later. We instead kicked it off with a simple vanilla-frosted cake doughnut with sprinkles (see Mrs. B holding up top), like the one that symbolized the “ring” in our vow-renewal. The dough was perfectly light and soft with a bold cinnamon-sweet flavor and an airiness rarely seen in cake varieties; it was noticeably better than last time (improved dough recipe?) and instead of our original colored sprinkles flaunted red, white and blue for the 4th.

The rest of our haul – the Marshall Mathers, the bacon maple bar, and a doughnut with a mustache – would have to wait; we had a morally questionable rendezvous with a foie gras doughnut that night and needed to save room.

Stay tuned for Part II

Voodoo Doughnut

Blognut Back on Blogger

2009-07-13T16:30:00.007-04:00

After a two-year stint on Wordpress, I’m bringing Blognut back to its original home on Blogger. Partly because www.theblognut.net recently disappeared and all salvage attempts have proven unsuccessful – apparently my database was wiped out – but also because I don’t really understand computers and making pictures of doughnuts appear in my sidebar seems way easier on Blogger.

Posts will resume on a regular basis (stay tuned for Portland, OR Part II!) and I’ll be slowly bringing back any old material I can dig up in my email and hard drive. But first let’s quickly catch up on the major doughnut happenings of the past few months. There was the Dunkin’ Donuts Create Your Own Donut Contest, which Mrs. B and I actually entered. Unfortunately whatever we came up with (which was so good I can’t remember it) lost out to the “Toffee For Your Coffee.” Our friend Marc swears he should have won but claims Dunkin’s “crash-prone server” prevented his inevitable victory. Then there was the news that 13 NYC Dunkin’ locations will soon re-open as Tim Horton’s (the Canadian mega-chain founded and named for the hall of fame hockey legend). And perhaps most notably, there was a truck filled with doughnut glaze that tipped over in Washington State:

Moving Out

2007-03-08T10:15:00.000-05:00

Blognut has moved! Please update your links and visit the new and improved www.theblognut.net.

Donuts from a bread lady

2007-03-05T21:13:00.001-05:00

Amy's Bread is best known for its artisanal breads, cakes and cookies. But hidden amongst the Rosemary Round Bread and Semolina with Golden Raisins and Fennel in Amy's display case sits an unassuming and often over-looked offering: the Lowfat Apple Sauce Donut.

This plump ball of dough tastes like a cinnamon-heavy spice cake dunked in a juice box full of Motts. The cake dough is dense but not too heavy, and while moist, leaves not a trace of oily residue on my hands. Some of you long-time Blognut readers may remember the Apple Sauce's earlier work - recreating the cover Bob Dylan's Freewheelin' album.

Amy's Bread Locations:

672 Ninth Avenue
(Between 46th & 47th Streets)
New York, NY 10036
Telephone: (212) 977-2670

75 Ninth Avenue
(Between 15th & 16th Streets)
New York, NY 10011
Telephone: (212) 462-4338

250 Bleecker Street
at Leroy Street
New York, NY 10014
Telephone: (212) 675-7802
Fax: (212) 675-7831

Donut Score:

Lowfat Apple Sauce -

Fractured Prunes

2007-02-27T18:36:00.000-05:00

The Mid-Atlantic has in recent years become somewhat of a Donut gray zone - you've got DD moving in from the Northeast, and the KK influence from down South, but really no unique Donut identity of its own. Well thanks to a brightly-colored, wrinkly mini-chain, this Donut dearth appears to be quickly vanishing.

The Fractured Prune was started in 1976 in Ocean City, Maryland, and has been supplying hoards of sun screen-coated, fanny pack-toting board-walkers with customized Donut fare ever since. Founder Tom Parshall chose the name to honor a woman named Prunella who once owned much of the land around Ocean City, and who incidentally was the county ping-pong champion in 1895. She also had a penchant for more extreme sports, competing against men in ice skating, skiing and tennis. She was a brittle specimen and would often return from such events in a wheel chair or on crutches, earning her the moniker Fractured Prunella. Why Tom thought it would be a good idea to take this women's name, liken it to the fruit it most resembles and develop a horrifying purple mascot in its honor, I have no idea. Because seriously, could there be a worse name for a Donut shop? But evidently Tom knew what he was doing – his creation has since become a huge regional success, with 12 franchises in Maryland alone, 1 in Virginia, 1 in DC, and a sprinkling of others in places like Ohio, North Carolina and Florida.

What separates the FP from many of its peers is their customer-specific fare – if not happy with menu items patrons can instead chose their own glazes and toppings. It's kind of like the Prune is Wendy's and Dunkin and Krispy are McD's you know?

So over the weekend I was in DC visiting a slew of college/high school friends, many of whom remember me better for my "bagel consuming" tendencies rather than Donut ingestion. But happily I'm able to talk two buddies into accompanying me to the newly-opened Fractured Prune in Dupont Circle. First we've got ACB, a bearded cemetery historian who bears a striking resemblance in temperament and attire to The Dude. Then there's 4-beer Mikey, who earned this designation a few years back after a particularly hideous emetic episode and now enjoys positioning things on the global scale. While my companions only enjoy Donuts on a sporadic basis at best, both have well-groomed palates when it comes to unhealthy sources of energy and are more than helpful in assessing our order:

Now right off the bat I'll say that there's one major flaw in what the Prune has to offer, that being the dough. All of their Donuts are constructed of a simple cake dough with little flavor, save that generic "fried" taste generally reserved for homemade Donuts and Zeppole. But they make up for this lack with an eclectic array of mostly-satisfying toppings.

We start with the Strawberry Shortcake. The sweet and gooey strawberry glaze is a perfect representation of the macerated strawberries generally piled atop a shortcake, and is balanced in taste and texture by crumbled bits of graham cracker. The whole thing is dusted with an extra layer of sweetness in the form of powdered sugar. Our team of tasters is impressed.

Next up, the Morning Buzz. A flavorful mocha glaze covered in Oreo cookie crumbs makes for another fine Donut. But think about it, if you cake something in smashed Oreos, you really can't go wrong in terms of flavor.

The French Toast. I was anticipating this Donut most of all due to my love of both maple glaze and cinnamon-sugar mixtures – both of which smother the Fractured Prune's French Toast variety. All three of us agree it tastes nearly like the real thing.

Blueberry Hill. In true Fats style, the Prune invites diners to "Find Your Thrill" when munching on this one. But all we find is a mess of artificial tasting blueberry sludge and too much powdered sugar.

And for our final two, we create our own. First, the simple Raspberry Glazed echoes the artificiality found in the Blueberry Hill. We've now learned to avoid any unadulterated fruit varieties. And finally, the Honey Glazed with Graham Cracker Crumbs. A sweet, crunchy and wholly satisfying finish.

Before long ACB runs outside in the midst of a sugar fit in search of savory remediation at the Gyro shack next door. Mike and I are left to clean up the detritus of our feast, him gawking at the curvaceous Russian counter girl (sorry Suz) and me with a pant-load of dried glaze stuck to my camera lens.

The Fractured Prune Donut Shoppe
2153 P Street NW
Washington DC

Donut Scores:

Strawberry Shortcake -

Morning Buzz -

French Toast -

Blueberry Hill -

Raspberry Glazed -

Honey Glazed and Graham Crackers -

Happy Anniversary!

2007-02-25T20:45:00.000-05:00

Blognut would like to wish Blognut a happy 1 year anniversary.

This idiotic Donut blog has come a long way since its humble beginnings at the Formica tables of the Donut House. From a Tang-flavored Donut in Portland, to a buttermilk high atop a 10,000 foot Hawaiian volcano, to rock-hard Parisian atrocities on the streets of the Left Bank, over the past 12 months I've tried my hardest to provide you, the readers, with the most objective, practical and flavorful Donut commentary I could manage. Hopefully I've convinced some of you of the limitless potential in a wad a fried dough, or at very least helped reinforce your previously existing Donut appreciation. And thanks to all of you who've provided support, recipes, and most importanly, Donut shop recommendations - I owe each and every one of you a coffee and a Donut.

So in honor of Blognut's year anniversary, I've compiled a list of the top ten Donuts I consumed over the past year. Enjoy, and thanks for reading.

#10) The Doughnut Plant - Peanut Butter Glazed with Banana Cream Filling

An Elvis-inspired banana cream-stuffed ring coated in a peanut-y glaze.

#9) Banbury Cross - Cinnamon

Cinnamon crumb goodness in Morman country.

#8) The Donut Pub - Black and White Boston Creme

A donut-y twist on the classic NYC black and white cookie stuffed with Boston's finest.

#7) Yummies Donuts - Honey-Glazed Blossom

Honey-infused cake dough shaped like a boomerang.

#6) Spudnuts - Cherry Cinnamon

A bumpy take on the classic cinnamon bun with cherry-infused glaze.

#5) Voodoo Doughnut - Butter-fingering

Devil's food cake dough dowsed with vanilla frosted and shattered Butterfinger.

#4) Mike's Donuts - Plain Glazed

Simple, sweet and satisfying.

#3) The Doughnut Plant - Tres Leches

Mark Israel's finest creation: butter cake soaked in evaporated milk, condensed milk, and cream, just like the traditional Mexican cake.

#2) Voodoo Doughnut - Dominic the Cat

A one-of-a-kind Voodoo creation modeled after my big-boned feline Dominic.

#1) Spudnuts - Plain Glazed

A cinnamon-spiked, potato flour dough, coated with a subtle glaze straight out of Charlottesville, Virginia. Simply the finest Donut of all. Please disregard the cows.

DSA

2007-02-21T19:55:00.000-05:00

In the wake of middle-finger flashing Aqua Teen Moon Men, Boston's security forces are on the look out for any and all sources of potential threat, no matter how soft, sweet and satisfying.

Over the weekend, before departing on a Costa Rican excursion, Sister-in-Law-Blognut spotted tray after tray of Donuts being sent through the X-ray machine at Logan Airport. And though it was a weary-eyed 4:45 in the morning, she was able to snap a pic of the suspect pastries (thanks Al). The incident reminds me of the time my BBQ sandwich had to go through security at Richmond International.

Donut Security.

Automatic for the Donut

2007-02-16T12:29:00.001-05:00

This establishment is now closed.

Edward Hopper's 1927 oil-on-canvas Automat depicts a forlorn looking girl sipping coffee by herself in an automat, which, in case you didn't know, is essentially a room full of coin-operated fast food vending machines. Hopper's work is said to depict the urban alienation that occurs when once-social practices like going out for a bite become completely automatic, rendering human-to-human interaction unnecessary. While a plausible interpretation, Blognut has an alternate theory to explain the girl's woes –simply that the automat she's chosen doesn't offer Donuts. Too bad us New Yorker's can't relate, because thanks to BAMN! we have automatic Donut access 24 hours a day.

BAMN! with icicles.

Founded by NYU Business School grad David Leong, and another guy named Nobu who writes Haikus, BAMN! opened just last year on St. Mark's Place in the East Village. The place is a sort of homage to the classic Horn & Hardart automats which once pervaded our Northeastern cities. The first H & H opened in Philly in 1902 as a knock-off of the Quisiana Automat in Berlin , while the first NYC location popped up in 1912. By the 50s and 60s the automatic format was gradually snuffed out by America's growing fascination with fast-food, cars and golden arches – and probably also something to do with the fact that inflation made buying food with coins a pain in the ass (automats were not equipped to accept paper money).

Automatic foods.

BAMN!'s fare is based in classic, over-processed American comfort food with an "Asian twist." Sliders. Hot dogs. Pizza, Mac & cheese. PB & J croquettes. Hawaiian-inspired Spam sushi. Pork buns. And like I said, Donuts. (Oh yeah, and they've got Belgian frites with 39 different sauces too).

BAMN! Donuts.

BAMN! refers to their Donuts as "Japanese." I assume this label stems from their resemblance to the classic ball of Okinawian fried dough, the Sata Andagi. But for us Westerners, all you really need to know is that they cost $1.00 American (like their ancestors, change only) and look and taste like zeppole. Basically just straight-foward, unflavored, yeast-raised dough covered in powdered sugar, BAMN!'s Donuts certainly don't have much in the way a flavor. But having flavor isn't the point, right? They're instead meant to sponge up booze from the stomachs of East Village all-nighters, while providing the kitsch and nostalgia of automatic food retrieval, which they do wonderfully.

"Japanese" Donuts.

So if you're in the market for a fast and super-cheap late-night sugar fix, but have absolutely no requirement that your Donuts actually taste good, then definitely hit up BAMN!. Otherwise, I'd stick with the more corporate all-night alternative.

BAMN! Donut Scores:

Flavor -

Practicality -

Happy V-day

2007-02-14T19:47:00.000-05:00

Krispy Kreme's Valentine's Day yeast-raised Doughnuts.

Holey Donuts! Holey S**t!

2007-02-07T20:47:00.000-05:00

I have to admit, when Holey Donuts! first approached me about trying their groundbreaking low-fat, trans fat-free gourmet Donuts, I was a little skeptical. Over the years, Blognut's palette, and hopefully my arteries, have grown accustomed to the addictive satisfaction of nutrionally-useless partially-hydrogenated oil, and the idea of a so-called "healthy" Donut seemed completely oxymoronic. But healthy or not, Blognut can't refuse complimentary Donuts, and before I knew it, four dozen Holey Donuts! were bouncing around the back of a Fed-Ex truck bound for my apartment.

Holey Donuts! was founded just last year by a fellow called Frank in Bayridge, Brooklyn. Frank chose the name after biting into his new creation for the first time and proclaiming "Holy Shit! These are really good."The product has been featured on CBS This Morning, and in numerous print publications, and has garnered a respectable celebrity following including Kathy Griffen, Tori Spelling, Ali Landry (HBO's Entourage), Fergi from the Black Eyed Peas and Jason Giambi. But even more beneficial to Holey's growing popularity was their glowing endorsement from the Food Network's Rachael Ray, who in her monthly magazine, Every Day with Rachael Ray, was quoted as saying "Okay, full disclosure: I like Holey Donuts so much that I invested in the company. They're sinfully tasty and lower in fat and calories than regular doughnuts. You gotta try 'em to believe 'em!" Oddly, in an email interview, Frank later tells me she's not actually an investor – suspicious behavior Rachael.

Now this guy Frank has got to be some kind of a marketing genius. Because playing in the background of www.holeydonuts.net is the gentle croon of Israel Kamakawiwo'ole, who you may remember as the 750 lb ukulele player whose medley of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" and "What a Wonderful World" appeared in both Finding Forrester and Meet Joe Black. It's like a subliminal reminder from Holey Donuts! that if you eat too many of these:

Or these:

You'll end up looking like this:

I'm not even sure Donnie Deu tsch could have thought of this.

But moving on, just how healthy are these Holey Donuts! you ask? Let's have a look at the specs:

All of HD!'s 23 varieties contain between 3 and 4 grams of fat, compared with around 20 grams present in most traditional Donuts (so it's like you can eat 6 Holeys at the cardiovascular price of 1). Plus Holey Donuts have calorie counts ranging from 160 to 275, roughly 25% lower than competitors. And most important of all, like I said earlier they're completely devoid of trans-fats. Oh, and I almost forgot their new line of Cinnamon Rolls, which are even more impressive in terms of caloric content and fat profile:

	Classic Cinnamon Bun	Holey Donuts!™ Cinnamon Bun
Serving Size	1 Roll	1 Roll
Calories	730	290
Total Fat	24 grams	4 grams
Carbohydrates	114 grams	59 grams
Fiber	2 grams	1 gram

It's almost like they're good for you.

Now before I start throwing around gustatory adjectives and commenting on how Holey Donuts! taste, let's first talk about the over-the-top way in which my Donuts arrive.

First, a Fed-Ex guy shows up at my door holding two packages. Given the size of the boxes, I thought maybe Mrs. Blognut had ordered us a new exercise bike. Turns out it's actually four dozen Holey Donuts cushioned by the company's extreme packaging technique. I tear open the boxes, only to find two more Styrofoam containers waiting inside marked "Perishable." And inside these, still more boxes, this time resting among several jagged chunks of dry ice giving the whole experience a "Weird Science" kind of feel. I open the third series of boxes and finally, Donuts.

Perishable.

Dry Ice.

Giant boxes.

There are two ways to prepare Holey Donuts! once they've arrived. You can either let them thaw for 1 to 2 hours – the preferred method – or for those of you seeking immediate Donut satisfaction, a 10-15 second zap in the microwave will do just fine (although in this case one must beware of overly-melted frosting and overly-sticky hands). Any extras can be frozen until you're ready to eat.

Donuts on Sticks.

HD! has four different variety boxes of Donuts available (of which I received two), plus the cinnamon rolls I mentioned earlier, plus a novelty item called "Donut on a Stick," which should really be called "Donut on a Spoon," because it's actually on a spoon. After having a few friends over to dine on my well-packaged delivery, we come to a consensus, agreeing that the secret to Holey Donuts is in the toppings and the filling. The yeast dough itself just tastes like Wonder Bread (the company avoids deep frying hence the lack of flavor). But the Holey Donuts! trick is cramming and covering this relatively bland base with as much decadence as possible. Which tells you just how bad trans-fats really are – the fact that a Donut covered in sugary frosting and rich chocolate is still 6 times healthier than say, a Krispy Kreme. Well, maybe "healthier" isn't the right word. More like .1666 times not as bad for you. How's that?

And now the Donuts:

Box #4.

Holey Donuts! box #4 contains four ringed varieties: Caramel Vanilla, Black and White, Strawberry Swirl and Marble Frosted. The caramel and chocolate toppings are impressive and completely un-artificial tasting. However, the same can’t be said for the swirl of bright red strawberry goo. While far more satisfying than I’d expected, the ringed varieties just don’t have enough flavor-distraction from the lackluster Wonder-dough. But what the ringed Donuts lack in flavor, is more than made up for by the filled varieties.

Box #1 contains Boston Crème Cookie Crumb, Coconut Creme Pie, Apple Caramel and Raspberry Crumb. The Boston Creme tastes every bit as rich and creamy as standard Pop-Donut issue, and the cookie crumbs on top taste like an oreo-ice cream cone hybird – really one of the more intersting Donuts I’ve tasted. The Apple Caramel has essentially the same topping as the ringed Caramel Vanilla, only this time an ample wad of apple pie filling provides a much-needed flavor boost. It kind of tastes like the filling you’d get at McDonald’s stuffed inside a turnover.

Apple filling.

While not as earth shattering as its calorie-packed cousin from the Doughnut Plant, thanks to more rich Boston Crème and loads of shaved coconut, the Coconut Crème Pie is by a landslide, Blognut’s favorite Holey Donut. The Raspberry Crumb is definitely bringing up the rear of Box #1. While the crumbs are a tasty, watered version of those found atop an Entennmen’s crumb cake, the raspberry filling has a slight artificial quality. Don’t get me wrong, I still ate all three, they’re just not quite as good as the rest.

The finest Holey Donut.

But probably the safest bet of all the Holey Donut! varieties boxes are the Cinnamon Rolls. Every bit as good a Cinnabon or a TJ’s Cinnamon, the swirled dough is smothered in sweet frosting and cinnamon goodness. A really impressive Holey Donut!. And lasty, the Donuts on Sticks are essentially triangular versions of the Coconut and Boston Cremes impaled with a plastic spoon. So no further flavor descriptions are necessary.

Rolls.

So I have to admit, this whole experience was really weird. From the moment the Fed-Ex guy dropped off two enormous boxes, to the giant hunks of dry ice on my floor, to my now-filled-with-frozen-Donuts freezer. But CEO Frank has been more than helpful in providing me with information for this piece, and his Donuts far exceeded my expectations for what a so-called “healthy” Donut could achieve. While obtaining a dozen Holey Donuts! may seem like a lot of effort, they really do make a great late-night snack.

While Holey Donuts! doesn’t plan on opening any retail stores anytime soon (at one point there was one on Nassau Street in Manhattan, which to my knowledge, has since closed), they’ve recently scored a contract with diet delivery service Zone Chefs, and plan to move into the supermarket sector in the coming year. So all of us here at Blognut (meaning me) would like to wish Holey Donuts! Frank a hearty “Good Luck” in his quest to health-ify the world’s finest food. But I have to ask, is there anyway you can stop using so much packaging material? If you keep this up, they’ll have to designate a special Holey Donuts! landfill out in Jersey somewhere to house all the non-biodegradable Styrofoam you go through!

Filled Holey Donuts!.

There's another donut man in town

2007-02-04T21:16:00.000-05:00

If there's one thing more prevalent in and around Amherst, Massachusetts than Colleges and Universities, it's Donuts. This is primarily due to the fact that there's a Dunkin' Donuts just about every 5 feet in Massachusetts (the Donut Goliath started in Quincy, Mass in 1950 and has since enjoyed a state-wide Donut-Monopoly). But thankfully the state still manages to harbor one of the best independent Donut scenes in the country. And nowhere is the mom-and-pop Donut shop tastier than at Hadley, Mass's The Donut Man (however, keep in mind I've not yet visited Kane's).

On the way home from a recent weekend getaway to Brattleboro, Vermont in which I scored/stole a Tim Horton's Donut plate, Mrs. Blognut and I stop off in Amherst, Mass to browse the vinyl at Mystery Train Records – I land unscratched selections from the Stones, the Kinks and the Faces. On the way out of town, the keen-eyed Mrs. B scares the filling out of me with her high-decibel pastry-proclamation:

"DONUTS!!!"

There, resting quietly on the shoulder of Route 9 (Russell Street), sits The Donut Man.

The décor is nothing special – plain white walls, generic faux-Formica tables – and I'm 99% sure the place used to be a bank, given the drive-up window and ATM card slot beside the front door. But the fare more than makes up for the bland milieu:

Used to be a bank.

First Course: Apple Cider Glazed and Cherry Glazed.

The Apple Cider has everything I wish most Orchard-born apple cider Donuts would have – hearty cake dough with a complex, spicy, clove-y and apple-y flavor. Enveloping this satisfying core is a thin and not-too-sweet layer of glaze in perfect surface area to Donut-volume ratio. Save the oily-decadence that pops out of the fryer on Carter Mountain in Charlottesville, VA, this is the finest cider Donut Blognut has dined on.

Apple Cider Glazed.

The Cherry's composed of equally hearty dough, this time interspersed with bright red cherry patches. Given the neon coloration, I'm pleasantly surprised when the flavor is far from artificial - it actually tastes like cherries. Again, a perfectly-thin layer of sugary glaze coats the surface.

Cherry Glazed.

Second Course: Sugar-Coated Apple Cider and Glazed Cruller (expect an upcoming historical expose based upon the numerous regional variations and mispronunciations of this curled Donut).

Apple Cider Sugar-Coated.

The Cider Glazed is not enough. Before leaving I saunter to the counter and order the Donut Man's other cider variation, the Sugar-Coated Apple Cider Donut. As a consolation for showing enough appreciation to place two entirely separate Donut orders, the Donut Man throws in a complimentary Glazed Cruller.

Again, the Cider is tops – essentially the same verbiage applies that I used to describe the Cider Glazed, only this time with chunky, granulated sugar mingling on the surface. And for someone who detests crullers – primarily for the same reason I detest many egg-based dishes, that being that they're too eggy – this one is solid, and has enough of the sugary simplicity of a plain glazed that I'm able to down half before depositing the rest in my R2D2-shaped trashcan. Usually I chuck a cruller after only one bite. So I'd like to make it clear that my disposing of the Donut Man's cruller in no way reflects the quality of their Donuts. I just hate the egginess of crullers.

So with two courses of top-notch Donuts in me, I've decided that I love the Donut Man and must visit him again. Most likely I'll sell Mrs. Blognut on another trip to New England-proper with notions of maple syrup, cross country skiing and "getting away from it all," but we all (her included) know the real motivation behind our next visit.

The Donut Man
142 Russell Street
Hadley, MA

Donut Scores:

Apple Cider Glazed -

Cherry Glazed-

Apple Cider Sugar-Coated-

Glazed Cruller-

Stay tuned for a complete report on a guilt-free wonder out of Bayridge, Brooklyn called Holey Donuts.

Doughnut Plant on Court Street!

2007-01-28T23:45:00.000-05:00

No longer must us Brooklynites bear the clamorous, piss-soaked ride on the F-train to fulfill our Sunday morning Doughnut Plant cravings. Thanks to Cobblestone Foods we can now land a freshly-made Mark Israel creation right here in Carroll Gardens.

Previously Tuller Premium Foods, CF was taken over and renamed by Jeremy Wachalter, former sous-chef at The Modern (the MOMA's restaurant). Wachalter has revamped the menu to include prepared gourmet foods, Gorilla Coffee, home-cured deli meats and the focus of this post, Doughnut Plant Doughnuts.

"Basically, we're all about providing customers with high quality foods at a reasonable price," says Cobblestone employee Jason. Then he tells me about some sitcom pilot he wrote years ago in San Francisco, the premise of which was he and his friend going into Doughnut shops late night and interviewing mostly-foreign bakers. So the guy definitely knows his Doughnuts. That said, the one item the shop can't discount are the Doughnuts ($3 a pop), as even getting them directly from the Plant runs pretty steep. But trust me, they're well worth it.

Now I know Doughnut Plant proprietor Mark Israel's reputation has been somewhat tarnished by his catty and completely juvenile performance on a recent episode of Throwdown with Bobby Flay (a topic which has ignited much debate right here on the pages of Blognut). But his Doughnuts are so ridiculously good that I've tried to look past his sour behavior, and instead appreciate his craft. Today I go for a Coconut Cream and a Valrhona Chocolate.

The coconut is tops. I know I've spoken at length about the marvelous consistency of Doughnut Plant's yeast-raised dough, but I'll say it again – it's the best dough around. This cinnamon-tinged, airy substance compresses with each bite, slowly returning to its original shape over a period of minutes – like some sort of Serta Perfect Sleeper memory foam. It's the perfect vehicle for a thick and ski-mogul-y layer of sweet glaze crawling with shredded coconut. And while a ringed Doughnut, Mark manages once again to stuff his loop, this time with not-too-coconutty coconut cream. This filled-ring Doughnut phenomenon has been covered extensively in previous Doughnut Plant posts so I won't go in to it – but click here for more coverage of this marvelous feat of ingenuity.

While not as impressive as the coconut, the Valrhona Chocolate is a satisfying second course. It's made of the same complex yeast dough, only this time smothered on all sides with rich, dark Valrhona Chocolate. The only shortcoming is the lack of filling. Given Mark's tendency to push Doughnut boundaries, I thought for sure my first bite would reveal a molten gush of chocolate - instead, all dough. A white frosting "V" lays across the top advertising the French chocolate maker for whom the Doughnut is named. It's a must-try for anyone who likes loads of cacao, but hopefully Mark will come to his senses and stuff it with even more.

But more important than the Doughnuts themselves, is the fact that right now, at this very minute there's a tray of Doughnut Plant Doughnuts resting a mere two blocks from my apartment.

Cobblestone Foods
199 Court Street
Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn

Doughnut Scores:

Coconut Cream -

Valrhona Chocolate-

Extra Extra!

2007-01-27T13:23:00.000-05:00

In a breaking story out of Durham, North Carolina, scientists have developed a CAFFEINATED DONUT!

Molecular biologists Dr. Robert Bohannon has developed a way to mask the bitter taste of caffeine so that the uplifting compound can be added to pastry products without altering their flavor. Thus far he has marketed Buzz Donuts and Buzz Bagels (not sure how to make a superscript Trademarked symbol on Blogger, but both products should probably have one) each of which contians the caffeine equivalent of roughly two cups of coffee per pastry item. Bohannon has approached Dunkin' Donuts, Krispy Kreme and Starbucks in hopes of mass-marketing his invention and says it's just a matter of time before someone takes him up on it.

In Blognut's opinion, the whole thing seems like a strange and unappetizing idea. And considering the number of Donuts I eat in the average week, somewhat dangerous too.

For more on the story click here.

Tim Horton's Has Real Tableware

2007-01-24T19:53:00.002-05:00

I don't want to get anybody in trouble here – so I'll keep things vague. Let's just say the following story took place at a Tim Horton's Donut Shop somewhere between Brooklyn and Brattleboro, Vermont, where I spent last weekend.

It's 8:00 PM and Mrs. Blognut and I are barreling down a major New England highway to the crackling croon of Will Oldham. Some particularly enticing signage appears flashing orange and purple - not surprising in the Dunkin-heavy North-East - but also a Tim Horton's. Two Donut possibilities in one exit!

Dining at Tim Horton's is a rare occasion for Blognut - reserved for my infrequent stints north of the border, where the chain was founded, or for journeys upstate to see my Buffalonian Grandma. So there is no question which mega-chain we'll be supporting tonight. A few minutes later we step into Tim Horton's.

This is when things get exciting. I greet the cashier-Donut-lady and order TH's new Chocolate Raspberry. It arrives on an actual plate adorned with Tim's logo – a touch of class foreign to most American Donut franchises who prefer shoving your Nuts into flimsy, white paper bags.

"Woah - a Tim Horton's plate," I say to the Donut-lady, "can I buy one?"

"No, unfortunately we don't sell plates, we're a Donut shop. But I tell you what," she says, "If it happens to go with you when you leave, I won't tell anybody."

So we sit down and I inhale the Donut. It's not one of Timmy's strongest selections. The chocolate cake dough is decent enough but the snake of bright red raspberry icing tastes like a melted cough drop – there's a definite medicinal bitterness to it.

Now comes the task of sneaking the plate into Mrs. Blognut's purse, which is a lot harder to do than it sounds. Every move draws an accusatory stare from this old lady in the corner. Seriously, at least five attempts thwarted by my grey-haired nemesis. Finally I just say "Screw it," and shove the plate in Mrs. B's bag. I throw a thankful nod to the cashier and power walk past the old lady and out to the car where it's on to Brattleboro.

Blognut goes paper

2007-01-21T20:26:00.000-05:00

If you're not yet sick of Doughnuts from reading this stupid blog, check out my "Indie Do(ough)-nut Roundup" in the Winter Issue of food rag Edible Brooklyn. The print edition hit Brooklyn last week and the online version goes up in March for all you non-locals. For a complete list of EB carriers click here.

Balthazar

2007-01-16T22:10:00.000-05:00

And still more artisanal Donuts.

There's really nothing quite as exciting to Blognut as a happenstance Donut-encounter. It's like finding a $50 bill in the parking lot of Target, only better, because the reward is a Donut. And I know what you're thinking. This Blognut's an idiot. Because finding an unexpected $50 is more desirable than stumbling across a Donut, because imagine how many Donuts you could buy with 50 bucks. Well it's not the same. It's the accidental face-to-face interaction with the Donut that makes the experience so magical, so let's leave money out of it.

That said, you can imagine my excitement when after a recent meal at the celebrity-infused Soho Brasserie, Balthazar, I peak into their bakery and notice a small plate of Donuts behind the counter. I confirm with the cashier that what I'm seeing are in fact Donuts:

Balthazar Cashier: "You got it. We've got Double Chocolate and Banana Pecan. You like Donuts?"

Blognut: "If you only knew. I'll take one of each."

I'll start with the Double Chocolate.

First off, it's on the tiny side. Smaller in diameter than an orange, but larger than say, a clementine. My first bite reveals a very subtle, high-end, non-artificial chocolate flavor, as if the dough was lightly-infused with Ghiradelli, Jacques Torres or Maison du Chocolat, rather than Hershey's. The cake-dough is of perfect density – suitable to be used as a paperweight, but not so dense that I feel miserable and oily afterwards. Lastly, the smooth chocolate frosting provides an extra kick of much-enjoyed dark cacao.

The Banana Pecan is even better. The same density and micro-stature as the Chocolate only this time with a subtle nanner flavor. Which is good, because over-bananafying often has disgusting results. Loads of crushed pecans reside in a sweet and creamy glaze coating the top surface. Collectively, the flavors add up to the best banana bread you've ever had.

And thanks to their manageable size, the two Donuts don't leave me overly-full, even after the hearty Duck Pot Pie that preceded them as my main course.

Balthazar
80 Spring St
New York, NY

Donut Scores:

Double Chocolate -

Banana Pecan -

A partially eaten Donut...

2007-01-13T10:55:00.000-05:00

...as told by a friend's hand.

churros make blognut go "bleh"

2007-01-09T18:49:00.000-05:00

Blognut loves Mexican food. I love tacos, burritos, enchiladas, flautas and just about any other shape our neighbors to the South can mold meat, beans, cheese and tortillas into. But no matter how hard I try, I just can't get behind Mexican Donuts. And by Mexican Donuts I mean Churros.

To this day, the only Churro I've had that was moderately enjoyable was that from Havana Central. But having been tipped off to the Churros at Soho's Dos Caminos by Donut-Scholar John T. Edge, I thought for sure this was my chance to finally land a top-notch Churro. The place is known for stuffing high-end Tex Mex into the mouths of people like Ashlee Simpson so chances are the prices are high and the décor chic - but does the pastry chef know his/her way around a Donut?

But before we get to Donuts, I'll start by saying that the taco chef certainly knows his/her way around a taco. The fiery slow-cooked pork carnitas are among the tastiest and freshest I've ever had. And probably the hottest too. One bite of this simple union of pulled pork, green chili salsa and aged cotija and I'm harkened back to the time I bit into my first habanero pepper in the middle of a Kroger Supermarket thinking it was a baby bell. I had to drink six smoothies and a jug of bottled water before I could speak again – I'm lucky I didn't have a hyponatremic seizure right there in the middle of the produce section. I convince my dinner party to wait for nearly an hour before ordering dessert while my taste buds rebound from the pain.

In order to experience the Dos Caminos Churro, one has to order a whole bunch of other useless crap. Along with brownies, bananas and passion fruit marshmallows, the Churros are served merely as dipping vehicles for the White & Dark Oaxacan Chocolate Fondue. And me being a white chocolate hater, of course my pot has a white to dark chocolate ratio of around 4:1.

I think my problem with Churros comes from the fact that I don't like crispy desserts unless there's an element of soft to balance the consistency. I don't like Chip's Ahoy, I like Soft Batch. I don't like ginger snaps, I like malleable gingerbread men/women. The softer the better. So when I get one of those foot and a half long Churros from the street vendors it feels like I'm eating a rod of stale cinnamon toast. And while much smaller, Dos Caminos' Churros have the exact same effect on me. Crunchy, hard and really not all that flavorful unless slathered in chocolate fondue, half of which I can't even eat due to the inherent vile-ness of white chocolate.

So while I commend DC for their superb savory fare - most definitely some of the best Tex-Mex in the city - their Churros have only helped solidify my view that Mexican Donuts generally suck. But I'm keeping an open mind because somewhere out there, maybe Mexico, perhaps SoCal, there has to be delicious soft-centered Churro waiting for a visit from Blognut.

Dos Caminos Churro -

Dos Caminos Soho
475 W. Broadway,
New York, NY

Donuts beside the fire: blognut dines at hearth

2007-01-03T22:13:00.000-05:00

While Blognut knows there's a ton of artisanal, over-chefed and over-priced Donuts floating around this great city, none of which I assure you are nearly as satisfying as a Peter Pan glazed or a Tres Leches from the Doughnut Plant, I still find myself fascinated by these feeble attempts to gentrify the most common of all foods. For some reason chefs seem to take great pleasure in placing a working class ring of fried dough on their dessert menu alongside limoncello gelati and goat milk panna cotta with huckleberry compote while managing to please a room full of snooty gourmands.

There's Tabla, the high-end Indian joint nestled in the bowels of the Met Life Tower known for its orange blossom fritters with a triad of dipping sauces: vanilla rum, caramel and berry jam spiked with Thai chili. Then there's the pricey A Voce, serving Bombolini, tennis ball-sized Italian Donuts filled with rich vanilla cream that rest on a shallow pool of apricot marmalade. Now I've tried both of these – unfortunately, on both occasions I found myself without a camera and was therefore unable to properly review them on the pages of Blognut – and while delicious and innovative, they just weren't quite worth the exorbitant prices - $8 and $10 per order, respectively. There's also Riingo, a fancy sushi hole in Midtown serving Green Tea Doughnuts with green tea ice cream, sabayon and a slaw of Asian pears and apples. I haven't tried these yet so I can't comment.

And then there's Hearth, a sleek yet warm spot in the East Village specializing in American Nouveau cuisine. A while back my friends C and E, who swear by this place, informed me that Hearth's dessert menu included apple cider Donuts, and it's been on my must-try list ever since. So how lucky am I when two weeks ago Mrs. Blognut surprises me with an early Christmas present – dinner, and more importantly dessert for two at Hearth.

I won't bore you Donut aficionados babbling about appetizers and entrees, but let's just say everything was great, from the grilled quail with tomato preserves to the roasted sturgeon with black olive and garlic. So with our main courses behind us, I anxiously await the waiter's return with my dessert order already decided. He arrives at our table and starts reciting the evening's offerings – this is when things get more complicated. "Our special tonight is Sufganiyah," says the watier, "an Israeli Donut traditionally served on Hanukah. It's basically a small, sugar-coated Donut filled with homemade raspberry jelly." Rather than reveal my gluttonous ways to the garcon by ordering both, I manage to sway Mrs. Blognut away from the sorbet sampler and convince her that what she really wants are the apple cider Donuts, while I get the special.

The cider Donuts come with sides of apple compote and maple cream and are drizzled with a thick layer of moist glaze. Together the flavors are fresh, sweet and fruity and bring to mind fall days, newly tapped Vermont maples and leaky cow utters. Hearth manages to incorporate slightly more complex flavors while still maintaining the simplicity of an old-fashioned apple cider Donut. All in all they taste like a really good version of the dime a dozen Donuts fried at apple orchards all across the country. The only problem is that my Donuts are over-cooked to the point where their exterior is dark, burnt brown in color, and have the consistency of a piece of toast. It's really too bad given the solid flavor.

The Sufganiyah are a different story – these are good all the way around. Roughly the size of a Titleist, each Sufganiyah is made with airy and perfectly-cooked yeast-raised dough with a slight external crispiness. They're coated with granulated sugar and filled with a sweet and viscous raspberry jelly. I eat all five before Mrs. Blognut is able to try one.

So while I remain somewhat philosophically opposed to overly gourmet-ifying my favorite edible, I will say that Hearth's Donuts manage to walk the line perfectly, likely able to please blubbery NYPD Dunkin' munchers and wine guzzling foodies alike. Plus, if I'm going to pay $11 for two apple cider Donuts and a pile of cream, I at least want them to taste cheap.

Donut Scores:

Apple Cider -

Sufganiyah -

Oh yeah, and sorry about the crappy photos. With a dimly lit room and me not wanting to annoy a room full of fine diners with flash photography, this was the best I could do.

The Grillswith

2006-12-31T13:15:00.000-05:00

Blognut is back from Virginia, two Donuts and lots of ice cream heavier. But before we get into food, I would first like to apologize to my svelte and bleach-stained friend Reverend Dick, who played the heartiest of roles in my nuptials – meaning my real hitching, not my Donut ceremony – in September of 05, and who should have definitely been made privy to the existence of this blog. Sorry RD. And thanks for not choosing the title of Druid or Warlock when cyber-ordaining yourself, thus avoiding way too many unanswerable questions from grandma J. But now, the Donuts.

Last April I ran a piece on my favorite of all Donut shops, Spudnuts in Charlottesville, VA. The resulting online chatter eventually led to something called the Grillswith, a marvelous triad of grilled Donuts, vanilla ice cream and chocolate sauce, popular in C’ville for decades. Having spent four years of my life in said town, I’m ashamed to admit I had not heard of the Grillswith at the time, and would like to thank all those who enlightened me on the matter. But those days of being young and uniformed have since passed, for I have now ingested the famous dessert and understand what all the fuss over this decadent Central-Virginia phenomenon is about.

Now the concept of mashing together Donuts, ice cream and chocolate sauce might not be specific to Charlottesville. In fact, I remember having the same combination years ago at the 3rd Street Diner in Richmond, VA. But as far as I can tell, the name Grillswith was born in C’ville, at the long-since closed University Diner. When the diner shut its doors - probably in response to one too many boozed-up frat guys dropping roofies into sorority sodas and regurgitating Donut on the walls – the considerably more boho Blue Moon Diner picked up the tradition (check their MySpace page here). As did a few other local dives, like the greasy and satisfying Mel’s Diner, and the White Spot, infamous for fattening up undergrads with their cholesterol-heavy “Gus Burger,” a hamburger topped with a fried egg.

I think it was two years ago when the Blue Moon Diner decided to close up shop and devote itself exclusively to catering. Charlottesville sighed with disappointment. But while giving up some of the grungy eclecticism that patrons so adored (ie, breast feeding women at the counter, unleashed Golden Retrievers scrounging for crumbs), the BMD recently reopened as a slightly sleeker, more disinfected diner. But don’t get Blognut wrong, the place is still brimming with character – from the window sill lined with records for spinning on the house turntable, to the portrait of a 70’s era Elvis hanging above the bar – and managed to maintain their local cred by bringing back the Grillswith.

So finally back in C’ville after so many months, Blognut shows up at the Blue Moon with a voracious appetite, primed on Christmas ham, sugar cookies and, oddly enough, corn salsa. I’m accompanied by Mrs. Blognut and my old friend Slim, neither of whom share my enthusiasm for the heavy, creamy and fried dessert we’re about to face. We order a round of pilsners and a single Grillswith.

The Blue Moon’s Grillswith consists of two plain-glazed, Krispy Kreme Doughnuts nestled beside a generous scoop of vanilla ice cream and drizzled with chocolate sauce. The Doughnuts are grilled until the sugary glaze caramelizes into a gooey and crunchy coating. Thanks to the grilling process, the interior of each Doughnut loses the light and airy physique of a typical glazed, and instead has the consistency of a dense, chewy bagel, making its eater work for his/her reward. But trust me, it tastes great. The ice cream is provided by another Charlottesville staple, Chap’s Homemade Ice Cream, and the sauce by Hershey’s. With nary a bite of help from either of my dining companions, I end up finishing the entire thing myself, vowing to start jogging again after New Year’s.

On the way out we spot a customer calling it quits for the night and creating a makeshift headlight by attaching a large metal flashlight to his bicycle handlebars. His method of attachment - packing tape. So here’s to the Blue Moon Diner for helping preserve the quirky, friendly and, at times, beautifully tacky lore of American diner culture, and for grilling up one of the finest desserts in the Piedmont.

Blue Moon Diner
512 West Main St.
Charlottesville, VA

Blognut has chosen to classify the Grillswith as a dessert rather than a Donut, and will therefore not be assigning it a Donut Score.

A holiday donut from Blognut

2006-12-21T21:03:00.000-05:00

Blognut will be on the move for the next week enjoying honey hams and hopefully lots of Donuts with family in New York and Virginia. Check back after New Year's, at which point I'll have ingested and thoroughly evaluated a Grillswith, provided everything goes according to plan. I'll explain later. Happy holidays.

Where to get a good Christmas Donut in NYC

2006-12-16T14:11:00.000-05:00

Yesterday Mrs. Blognut scored me this moderately-sized apple cider Donut from the Christmas market in Columbus Circle. And I have to say, it was far superior to any of the Christmas market Donuts I tried in Vienna - the dough was super light, with only a hint of sweetness and the cider flavor was subtle and as healthy tasting as something that's fried can be. Its absorbant dough and gustatory minimalism made it perfect for dunking. Nice work Mrs. Blognut.

Mrs. Blognut didn't remember the stand's name, but it looked like this.

Mid-dunk.

Donut Score:

Apple Cider Donut from Columbus Circle -

Donut Photo Album

2006-12-11T09:43:00.001-05:00

I've finally taught my cat Dominic that Donuts are more satisfying and nutrionally essential than Meow Mix.

This is Blognut's 100th Post!!!

2006-12-09T14:49:00.000-05:00

Enough about Austria. Blognut’s back in Brooklyn celebrating our centesimal post with a visit to Mike’s Donuts in Bay Ridge.

Mike’s has been stuffing Brooklynites full of monstrous bursting-at-the-seems homemade donuts for over 30 years. The place is run by Mike Neamonitis and his son Gus. I think Mike’s son-in-law is also involved too but I don’t know his name.

I spoke with Gus a few weeks ago over a steaming cup of black coffee and a plain glazed, which I have to say is one of the best in all of Brooklyn. It was soft, only a smidge chewy and covered in just the right amount of glaze – like a slightly less sweet Dunkin, making it WAY less sweet than a Krispy Kreme. Why does Krispy Kreme suck so bad?!

After a lengthy conversation about the state of independent Brooklyn donut culture, Gus hands me a large white box stuffed to corners with every kind of Donut you can think of. That’s actually not true, because after the fact I realized that there was only a single “filled” Donut among the group – a lone Boston Creme. Which is odd because filled Donuts are a big deal. And in my experience, they’re the most popular variety among most Donut eaters. But here’s the kicker (I’ve never before used this phrase in print): This crazy mofo Gus won’t let me pay for him the Donuts. Come on Gus, you just gave me a cup of coffee and well over a dozen fresh Donuts, let me pay you something. “No,” says Gus, “enjoy my Donuts.”

When I get home I feel guilty. Here I am championing the mom-and-pop Donut shop, hoping they can survive the intimidating and overly-purple neon threat of Dunkin, and I go and take a significant portion of their daily inventory without shelling out even a dime of compensation. But whatever, it’s too late now. So I eat the Donuts:

Plain Glazed – Already described above. Dunkin-y, but better.

Glazed Twist – Exactly the same flavor as the plain glazed, but with a more inventive and longer lasting shape. Perfect for when you’re in the mood for a glazed but are starving.

Vanilla Frosted – The same light and airy yeast-raised dough as the glazed varieties only this time covered in a smooth vanilla frosting and a unilateral swath of sprinkles. Again, the dough is soft and a bit chewy and the frosting provides the perfect amount of sugar.

Marble Twist – A classic New York Donut, the marble twist is like two Donuts in one. Just as I start to appreciate the wad of plain cake dough that’s resting in my mouth, the taste of chocolate takes over. Both components are soft and moist and just light enough so I don’t feel sick after ingesting the 10 inch long shaft of dough. That didn’t come out the way I wanted it to.

Cinnamon Roll – Again, the same outstanding yeast-raised dough, only this time wrapped four times into an irresistible spiral. Between each coil lies a hearty vein of cinnamon and after finishing the entire thing in under 10 seconds I feel simultaneously sick and the best I’ve ever felt.

Vanilla Triangle Thing – I honestly don’t know what this donut is called. But I do know is that it consists of a wedge of yeast-raised dough smeared with a thick layer of vanilla frosting. It really just tasted like the Vanilla Frosted I described earlier so I’ll stop here.

Chocolate Frosted – Same as Vanilla Frosted but with chocolate frosting. I’m getting lazy with these descriptions, I know.

Lastly, the Boston Crème – Again, yeast-raised dough smeared with smooth chocolate frosting and impregnated with a glob of rich Boston Crème. Though Blognut is generally not a huge fan of filled Donuts, the Boston Creme, along with the plain-glazed, were the highlights of the box.

And that’s it for Mike’s. This place is definitely tops and ranks right up there with Peter Pan as one of the best Donut shops in Brooklyn, and all of NYC for that matter. If it wasn’t such a chore getting out to Bay Ridge, I could see myself starting off everyday at Mike’s, with my lazy, Donut-eating ass firmly planted on one of the shop’s vintage swivel bar stools and my elbows resting on a slab of retro Formica.

Mike's Donuts
6822 5th Avenue
Bayridge, Brooklyn
718-745-6980

Donut Scores:

Plain Glazed -

Glazed Twist -

Vanilla Frosted -

Marble Twist -

Vanilla Frosted Triangle Thing -

Chocolate Frosted -

Boston Creme -

Blognut gives a krapfen: Donuts I ate in vienna

2006-12-04T19:08:00.000-05:00

Donuts are everywhere in Vienna. And while they don't suck nearly as bad as Parisian Donuts, they definitely failed to meet the minimum sugar level my all-American, sweet-seeking tongue requires of a Donut.

There are basically two types of Donuts in Vienna: there's the traditionally-German/Austrian Krapfen, which 50% of the time taste like a 2-day old dinner roll, and there's the second-rate ringed American knock0ffs. Now it's this second category that really poses an ancestral paradox given that our red, white and blue holey Donuts are most certainly direct descendants of the bland, usually-jam-filled Donuts found all over Eastern Europe (including Austria). It seems the Euros have taken our sweeter, more processed version of their traditional fried dough, and created a completely unenjoyable knockoff of a knockoff. It's really sort of incestuous.

But like I said, Austrian Donuts weren't nearly as foul as those I had in Paris (far and away THE WORST DONUTS I'VE EVER HAD!). The key is to hit Vienna's famed Christmas markets, most of which have at least one vendor peddling authentic Krapfen stuffed with either apricot or raspberry jam. When done right, they're freshly fried in front of you and sprinkled with powdered sugar resulting in a hot, sticky mess of goodness. When they've sat out too long, you'll most likely take one bite and drop the rest in an oddly-shaped and way-too-small-for-a-major-urban-center trash can. But I'll let you see for yourself. Without further ado, here's a rundown of all the Donuts Blognut encountered while in Vienna.

These were small Donuts....

fried right in front of my face by a surly Donut Man. Once cooked, he lifted six at once from the oil with a stick and dropped them into a small paper bag. He then grabbed an enormous bottle of chocolate sauce and let loose a hearty squirt atop the still steaming Donuts. Now while these tiny ringlets are meant to be eaten with a small wooden fork, this proved nearly impossible, as the liquidy chocolate quickly turned them into a soggy mound of goo. They tasted fine I guess, but I was a bit skeived out by the mushy consistency - I typically have a problem with gooey foods like bread pudding, or even regular pudding for that matter.

Oh, and here was the menu at the small Donut stand. Maybe lecker means really soggy.

I found this Krapfen stand at the Christmas market outside of city hall (Rathaus). The Donuts were freshly-fried and filled with either vanilla, chocolate or apricot upon request using a metal probe. The whole thing reminded me of all those anal probe scenes in alien movies.

Blond, Austrian Donut Lady getting ready to squirt my Krapfen full of apricot. This sounds perverse for some reason.

My Krapfen getting filled. This was by far the best Donut I had in Austria - soft, warm and stuffed with gooey apricot jam. The powdered sugar sprinkled on top melted into a clear glaze and masked the fact that the dough was probably completely devoid of sugar and tasted like bread.

Apricot Krapfen closeup.

Here's a Krapfen shaped like a pretzel.

Another nearby stand was selling something called Bauernkropfn. They were akin to the Czech kolache in that they had their jam filling on top rather than inside.

Mine tasted like ass - if ass tastes like a really bad, stale dinner roll.

These were small Krapfen on sticks. The looked and tasted like your average zeppole, decent but uninspiring.

Later that day I stopped in McDonalds because I knew that McD's in Europe serve Donuts. Which this one did. They were chocolate strudel Donuts but I didn't eat one because they looked artificial and disgusting. And while this has never stopped me in the past, at this point in the trip my stomach was in knots from all the sausage and Weiner schnitzel.

Chocolate-filled Krapfen which I didn't eat because all Krapfen started to taste the same. And also for the reason put forth in the previous caption.

Menu at stand with the chocolate-filled Krapfen which I didn't eat.

Alright, like I said earlier, I stopped by McDonald's to see what sort of Donut selection they had, but I didn't eat any. Well it gets better. I scored this chocolate streusel at a Starbucks on the main drag of downtown Vienna. Yes, even the coffee capital of the world has 11 Starbucks! And see if you can guess what this bumpy little number tasted like? You got it, those mini chocolate frosted Donuts made by Hostess. An exact flavor replica. The majority of this one ended up in the trash can.

Starbucks was also selling this Donut. I won't say anything about it because the name really says it all.

In keeping with my policy that international Donuts are unratable due to differential cultural expectations, I will not be assigning Donut Scores to any Viennese Donuts.

Blue Suede Donut

2006-11-26T13:14:00.000-05:00

This will be my final report on Donuts of the Deep South.

Union Avenue in Memphis, Tennessee is probably most famous for helping introduce Elvis Presley to the world. At the corner of Union and Marshall sits the legendary Sun Studios where Elvis, Johnny Cash, Carl Perkins and Jerry Lee Lewis all recorded their early hits. But what the guide books don’t tell you, is that a mile or so down Union from Sun, sits Donald’s Donuts, a simple, plain-front Donut shop quietly pleasing patrons in the shadow of their attention-hogging neighbor.

There’s really not much to say about Donald’s, other than it’s a great local Donut shop with friendly service and quality fare. On my recent visit to Donald’s I ordered four Donuts: a Bear Claw, a Frosted Peanut, a Cinnamon Roll and a Cream Cheese-filled.

The Bear Claw was made of light and refreshing yeast dough, not unlike Dunkin’s yeasty varieties. But the best part was the shape – the “bear claw-ness” came from five rectangular subunits all linked together to loosely resemble a bear’s foot. Given the size, it most likely belonged to a young brown bear, but I know nothing about bears so don’t hold me to that.

The Frosted Peanut was made from the same yeast dough as the Bear Claw. It was covered in vanilla frosting and topped with crushed peanuts. Now Blognut enjoys the occasional peanut Donut, but this version was way too PEANUT. All I could taste was nuts. The highlight my meal was course three, the Cinnamon Roll. It was big, airy and had just the right amount of cinnamon kick. The Cream Cheese-filled was interesting in theory, but I wasn't a fan of the sugary cheese flavor that came from mixing glaze and Philadelphia. Plus, aren’t Donuts already bad enough for our health that we probably shouldn't make them any worse?

Vein of cinnamon in Cinnamon Roll.

Cream cheese inside a Donut.

All in all, Donald’s is a solid Donut Shop worth checking out if you’re in the Memphis area in need of a Donut. But wash your hands before heading to Sun Studios - they seemed to get annoyed when I got glaze residue on Elvis’s antique microphone.

Tomorrow Blognut heads to Vienna, Austria for a six-day sausage, pastry and coffee excursion. Now we all know the Viennese can bake like a dog can lick its ass – but can they fry dough? That’s what I intend to find out.

Donut Scores:

Bear Claw -

Frosted Peanut -

Cinnamon Roll-

Cream Cheese-filled -

The only way to cook a turkey

2006-11-22T10:29:00.000-05:00

For a little extra flavor, Blognut recommends throwing a few Donuts in the fryer alongside the turkey. Happy Thanksgiving.

Shipley's believe it or not

2006-11-21T12:40:00.000-05:00

Earlier this year Blognut ran a post summarizing a donut-centric article in Saveur by food writer John T. Edge. The piece coincided with the release of Mr. Edge’s book, Donuts: An American Passion, and reviewed seven of the scribe’s favorite US doughnut shops. I was surprised to see that Edge included Shipley Do-Nuts in Oxford, Mississippi on his list. I thought for sure all seven Doughnut shops would be independent Mom-and-Pop establishments, whereas Shipley’s is a Houston-based Pop-Nut chain with over 190 franchises sprinkled throughout Texas and the deep south.

But you can’t pull one over on Blognut. I soon remembered that Edge is the director of the Southern Foodways Alliance, an institute of the Center for the Study of Southern Culture at the University of Mississippi in Oxford (well actually, all I remembered was that Edge was somehow affiliated with Ole Miss, I looked up his official association after the fact). So there was obviously some hometown allegiance at work here. Which is fine, because as any respectable food critic will tell you, so much of taste is contextual. No restaurant can match the flavor of Dad’s homemade pulled pork BBQ, or Mom’s near-addictive cinnamon rolls. That’s just the way it is.

Prior to my trip to Mississippi last month, Blognut had tried only a single Shipley’s Donut, back in 05’ on a trip to San Antonio. I remember it being delicious and having something to do with cherries. But given the vast array of memorable Donuts I’ve tried in the last year thanks to this stupid blog, and having no geographical or emotional ties to the region, expectations for my visit to the Oxford franchise were set low. How could a mass-produced Donut match the texture and complexity of, say, a Doughnut Plant offering? But now having adequately evaluated what the Texan chain has to offer, I dare say that Shipley Do-Nut’s plain glazed is one of my all-time favorite Donuts. And Shipley’s certainly has replaced Dunkin’ as Blognut’s favorite Pop-Nut chain.

Mr. Edge compares the consistency of Shipley’s dough to that of Wonder Bread. And I would have to agree. As I bite into the glazed it gently collapses between my teeth and before I know it has disappeared, leaving only a vestige of sugary flavor. It’s unbelievably satisfying in a processed American kind of way and is a near match to my favorite of all Donuts, the plain glazed from Spudnuts (which happens to be in my former hometown of Charlottesville, Virginia...there seems to be a pattern here…hmmm?).

Blognut also tries the Maple Glazed. While no match for its predecessor, it garners considerable style points for actually having a maple-infused glaze rather than a too-sweet sludgy maple frosting like most maple Donuts. For a moment I thought I was in the presence of Mark Israel, proprietor of The Doughnut Plant and master of glaze infusion. The dough is sturdy without being overly-filling, leaving me with room for dessert. I go with the Bull’s Eye.

The Bull’s Eye is a light, yeast-raised Donut filled with smooth and creamy white cream (I think I just described a noun using the adjective form of itself. This probably goes against some sort of grammatical and philosophical tenets but I think I’ll leave it). The top surface is smeared with rich, chocolate frosting accented by a large, ill-defined blob of white frosting, which I assume is the so-called “Bull’s Eye.” Now Blognut is not a huge fan of cream-filled Donuts (I guess Boston Crème are OK) but I’ve had enough to know a good one when I taste it. I would rank Shipley’s Bull’s Eye along side of Dunkin’s cream-filled variety – decent, but not life-changing.

Mrs. Blognut and I were the only ones there.

Shipley’s carries a total of 63 varieties, including a handful of kolaches, a Czechoslovakian pastry popular in Texas, and other parts of the country, thanks to the slews of Czech immigrants who came to the region in the 1900s. The chain is gradually expanding, vowing never to compromise quality ingredients and excellent service in exchange for revenue. And while I definitely had good service and even better Donuts at the Oxford Shipley, I thought it was funny when the Donut-Man revealed they were out of both coffee and napkins, essentially the only two accessories you need to properly eat a Donut. But I didn't mind; the apologetic counterperson went in the back and got me a roll of enormous brown paper towels to compensate. So whether you’re from Oxford, Mississippi or not, Shipley’s Donuts are worthy of even the most snooty Donut-Palate.

Donut Scores:

Plain Glazed-

Maple Glazed -

Bull's Eye -

Donut Quote of the Day

2006-11-17T09:41:00.000-05:00

Today's Donut Quote of the Day was found Scotch-taped in the front window of Portland, Oregon's Voodoo Doughnut.

Honest Abe's

2006-11-13T10:01:00.000-05:00

Continued from this post

About 45 miles south of Clarksdale, Mississippi is the town of Greenwood, home to the gravesite of Robert Johnson. There are actually three purported gravesites for the blues legend, but most historians believe this to be the real one. So after a morning milling around Clarksdale and enjoying pretzel-shaped donuts from Delta Donut, Mrs. Blognut and I hop in our rented Chevy Impala and make the drive to Greenwood.

Honestly, when planning this day excursion to the burial ground of Mr. Johnson, we stupidly neglected the possibility of a donut encounter. But donuts are huge in the South, where they fry everything. And what's the first thing we see when arrive in Greenwood? Well, it's actually about two miles of strip malls. But after that, the first thing we see is Honest Abe's Donuts.

All you really need to know about Honest Abe's is that it has to be one of the only donut shops in the country serving tamales. Of course we show up on the one day they're out of tamales - so we have to settle for Donuts. Which, if you know anything about Blognut, is not much of a let down.

Actually, there's one more thing you should know about Honest Abe's. And that's that I'm pretty sure they were previously a Shipley's Donuts, the famed Houston, Texas-based Pop-nut chain. I won't go into the specifics that lead me to this conclusion, as my next post will be devoted exclusively to Shipley's, but trust me when I say that Abe's shares more than a few aesthetic and gustatory characteristics with the Texan donut-dealer.

I start with a blueberry-filled. The dough is so light I wonder how it manages to maintain its shape, as opposed to evaporating into the ether. Seriously, as I bite into it the dough has nearly dissolved by the time my upper and lower teeth make contact. The top is covered in an ample sprinkling of granulated sugar while the center is stuffed with super-sweet blueberry compote. It's one of the sweeter Donuts I've ever had, but not in that nauseating Krispy Kreme sort of way.

I wash down the blueberry-filled with a sugar yeast Donut. Again the same barely-there dough coated with a ton of granulated sugar, only this time without the compote getting in the way. I much prefer the simplicity of this Donut's flavor to that of the Blueberry.

After finishing the sugar Donut and spilling what seemed to be the equivalent of 2 cups of sugar all over the floor of the Impala, we set off for the Little Zion Baptist Church where we find Mr. Johnson's grave. For a moment I contemplate taking a picture of a Donut (we had another sugar in the car) along side the headstone. Thankfully, I quickly realize such an act would be disrespectful. Some things are better left sacred.

Donut Scores:

Blueberry-filled -

Sugar -

What Donut are you?

2006-11-08T23:16:00.000-05:00

So an anonymous commenter left me a link to a worthwhile Donut quiz (see last post). Thank you anonymous commenter. Through a series of five questions it determines what type of donut you are. The weird thing is, in response to the question asking what filling I like in my Donut, I responded gooey dough - mainly because it was the answer closest to a ringed Donut, which I prefer to filled varieties. But somehow it concluded that I am a Boston Creme.

Then I resubmitted the quiz without answering any questions. Again, it decided I was a Boston Creme. Hmmm?

You Are a Boston Creme Donut

You have a tough exterior. No one wants to mess with you.

But on the inside, you're a total pushover and completely soft.

You're a traditionalist, and you don't change easily.

You're likely to eat the same doughnut every morning, and pout if it's sold out.

What Donut Are You?

Goin' down to the crossroads, got my donut right by my side

2006-11-05T10:17:00.000-05:00

This past weekend, Blognut was in Clarksdale, Mississippi. So it was inevitable that before long I ended up at the intersection of Highway 61 (yes, like the Dylan album) and Route 49. Or as the local board of tourism calls it, the Crossroads, the intersection of legend where bluesman Robert Johson is said to have sold his soul to the devil in exchange for becoming, arguably, the most important musician of all time.

But as any respectable blues historian will tell you, Johnson would certainly not have made his pact at a busy intersection like this. For such Satanic negotiations are generally handled in remote locations, free of potential witness. And while I agree that the union of 61 and 49 probably wasn't the infamous "Crossroads," I would like to pose a new theory as to why not.

You see, the one thing more enticing than eternal guitar proficiency, is a mouthful of Donut. And sitting quietly on the South East corner of the intersection is a ragged little shop called Delta Donut. So even if Johnson had intended on selling his soul at this well-travled locale, he would have certainly rescheduled - and instead walked in to Delta, ordering a plain-glazed and a pretzel Donut. Because seriously, how many Donut shops have a Donut shaped like a pretzel?! And I'm sure some would argue that Delta Donut wasn't in existence until long after RJ's death. But's let's not get bogged down in the facts. We'll leave that for the historians.

So in an effort to relive the "real" Robert Johnson story, I stroll into Delta and order a plain-glazed and a pretzel Donut.

Now one thing Blognut has noticed about indie Donut shops (our beloved Spudnuts included), is that often times their product comes out of the fryer hexagonally. Maybe back in the day there was an affordable mom-and-pop-friendly Donut machine that grew tired of geometrical simplicity and instead opted for six sides. Who knows? Actually, I guess I should know since I'm the Blognut. I'll get back to you on this.

Plain-glazed in rental car.

But yes, the glazed is a perfect hexagon (sort of). And I love it. Just like Spudnuts, the dough is soft and impressionable, with a tinge of cinnamon. A thin layer of glaze is careful not to oversweeten, while the Donut's scaled-down stature leaves me craving another. I start in on the pretzel Donut. As expected, it's composed of the same cinnamon-spiked yeast dough as was the glazed, but is even more satisfying thanks to the innovative shape. Just for fun I imagine dressing my pretzel up with a pinch of rock salt and a stream of French's, but that would be disgusting.

I leave Delta Donut happy and full, wondering how anyone could play the blues after such an uplifting and fulfilling dining experience.

Donut Scores:

Plain-glazed -

Pretzel Donut -

Happy Halloween from Blognut

2006-10-28T11:17:00.000-04:00

Alright, as promised, Halloween Munchkins from Dunkin. Plus a slew of other holiday-appropriate Donuts.

So after three trips to my local Brooklyn DD, they finally had Halloween Munchkins in stock. And what a let down. I mean, you'd think the biggest Donut-dealer in the universe could come up with something a bit more inventive than a glazed cake covered in orange and yellow sprinkles. Like say for example, this scary-ass Pumpkin-shaped offering from Krispy Kreme, which we scored at the KK down the street from Graceland in Memphis (yes, Blognut somehow ended up in Tennessee and Mississippi over the weekend, resulting in some top-notch Donut-eating).

This Doughnut wasn't all that impressive either. The KK ad campaign for these terrifying creations deemed them "pumpkin shaped"Halloween Doughnuts. And the photo on KK's website shows them as having both prominent stems and well-defined facial features. Not the case. Maybe the Doughnut-maker at this particular Kreme was hungover or something, but mine was a perfectly round, yeast raised Doughnut. Where was the stem Blognut asks?! And what's with the horrific frosting job? It looks like the eyes, nose and mouth were painted on in the backseat of a highspeed cab.

But worst of all, the Doughnut was nearly tasteless. It's pretty hard to mess up frosting, but Krispy Kreme has succeeded. The orange goo topping our "Halloween Doughnut" tasted like kindergarten paste, only blander. Plus it had that bitter bite that comes from using too much food dye. And I apologize for the rant, but it didn't have any filling. What kind of a hole-less Doughnut doesn't have filling?! That's the whole reason the hole was put there in the first place, so we didn't have to waste time with a glob of taste-less dough in the middle.

But wait a minute. Maybe Krispy Kreme has succeeded in their attempt at seasonality. Because afterall, this was one of the most horrifying Doughnuts I've ever seen or tasted.

I also tried KK’s more traditional Halloween-themed Doughnut, the Pumpkin Spice (not shown). And I will say that it partially redeemed the hideous pumpkin head. Soft and spicy innards with a firm exterior made for a solid seasonal Doughnut.

Alright, next up is Starbucks. All fall this mom-and-pop coffee shop has been serving a line of pumpkin-flavored eats and drinks. Mainly because they’re a warm organization. One that knows the importance of small-town America, and the comforts of a warm muffin fresh from the oven and a cup of hot apple cider. Blognut has tried none of said offerings, save the Pumpkin Spice Doughnut.

Now Starbucks’ Doughnuts are generally pretty tasty. But something was afoul with their attempt at capturing autumn in a Nut. The cake was too soft, almost as if it hadn’t been fried long enough. And while it did have loads of fall spice – cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves – the flavors felt slightly artificial, sort of like a Duncan Hines spice cake or something. So while OK, it’s certainly not my favorite seasonal Doughnut of the year.

But there’s a twist to the Starbucks tale. While Mrs. Blognut and I were in Portland last month, we noticed that local Bucks were advertising Top Pot Doughnuts, the famed Seattle-based indie Doughnut shop specializing in ostentation (field-correspondent Beta Blognut covered TPD for us back in July and was more than impressed). And it’s too bad this partnership can’t be extended across the country, for Top Pot's Pumpkin Spice is far better than Starbucks'. Their dough is full-bodied and hearty, while the Doughnut-exterior is almost crisp. And the spices take more of a subservient role to the pumpkin which is nice. So here’s to Top Pot, for frying up the first impressive Doughnut of this post.

And I’ve saved the best for last. As usual, the Doughnut Plant has outdone itself. A few weeks ago I stopped in Joe for a coffee and a Doughnut (I was well aware that Joe only stocks Doughnuts from the Plant). Being that it was a crisp fall day, I went with their Pumpkin Glazed Cake variety. And I mean it when I say that this Doughnut is in a class by itself. Complex and spicy dough, heavy on cinnamon and clove, with a pale orange, pumpkin-infused glaze. The dough is just what I’ve come to expect from Mark Israel, soft, moist and spongy – it fights back as I chew, making me work a bit for my reward. This is certainly the best seasonal Doughnut Blognut has ever tasted.

And that’s all. Happy Halloween.

Donut Scores:

Halloween Munchkins -

Krispy Kreme "Pumpkin-shaped" -

Krispy Kreme Pumpkin Spice -

Munchkin Montage

2006-10-25T00:03:00.000-04:00

This morning I stopped by Dunkin Donuts in hopes of getting a box of the new Halloween-themed seasonal Munchkins. "We haven't gotten those yet," said the DD employee, "but check back tomorrow." At this point I got embarrassed that I'd made a special trip to Dunkin for their Halloween line, and without thinking said, "I'm getting these for a bunch of kids. I guess they'll be OK with regular Munchkins."

So instead of the post I had originally intended, I'll show a montage of the regular Munchkins I bought out of guilt when I learned they didn't have any seasonals.

Yeast-raised Glazed Munchkin.

Plain-cake Glazed Munchkin with a blurry Friends in the background (this was the one where Joey and Ross get locked on the roof).

Munchkin closeup.

While devoid of any All Hallows Munchkins, Dunkin was able to offer this full-sized Halloween Doughnut.

The only thing that qualifies this Nut as seasonal, is the tiny black-sugar bats, and I guess the purple and green sprinkles. Standard DD yeast-raised issue with tired chocolate frosting, plus a barely noticable attempt at Halloween imagery just doesn't constitute an acceptable Nut. However, the Munchkins were of the consistently great quality we've come to expect from our favorite of all Pop-Nuts. But I think I'll hold off on reviewing them until I score a box of season-appropriate Nut-holes.

And now a final thought on Munchkins:

Donut Score:

Seasonal Halloween Bat Donut -

Blognut would like to thank Bobby Flay…

2006-10-22T15:22:00.002-04:00

…for giving our readership a boost.

You see, Bobby has this show on the Food Network called Throwdown with Bobby Flay. The premise has the red-headed wonder challenging cooks around the country to a “throwdown” involving that particular person’s strong suit. He’s taken on New Jersey’s own Butch in a BBQ competition, Staten Island’s Giorgio Giove in Pizza, and Louisville, Kentucky’s Lynn Winter (owner of Lynn’s Paradise Café) in breakfast. But last weekend Flay threwdown something a bit closer to Blognut’s stomach, the Doughnut.

Now for Bobby to prove himself a worthy doughnut-maker, there’s really only one person that comes to mind for him to do battle against – the nation’s foremost artisanal Doughnut monger, Mark Isreal, owner and operator of NYC’s Doughnut Plant. And that’s just what he did.

Throwdown is an awkward enterprise for two reasons. One, Bobby’s competitors have no idea that they’re about to be challenged. Basically the Food Network contacts them asking to do a feature. FN execs are like, “Yeah, we just want to follow you around for a week watching you cook. Then we’ll throw a big party and film it, sort of a grand finale for you to showcase your specialty to millions of viewers.” Then the person they've contacted is like, “Count me in. I can’t believe I’m going to be on the Food Network. Rock on.” (I’m paraphrasing here). But what the Network doesn’t tell the competitor, is that just when the party’s about to begin, they plan to send in world-renowned chef Bobby Flay with 2 professional assistants and $50,000 in high-end cooking equipment, to challenge them, and potentially rip away their one source of pride. It’s really pretty messed up. Because it’s not like these people asked to be challenged by one of the most accomplished chefs in the country. And it’s not like they can decline, as this would one, appear cowardly, and two, most likely ruin their chances of ever appearing on the Food Network again.

So the second weird aspect of Throwdown, is that friends and family members of whomever Bobby is battling, are used as judges, so Flay never really has a chance. Now I assume this is to skirt the painful awkwardness of BF actually winning. But on the other hand, it makes for boring, predictable TV. Now I think the Food Network has begun to realize this, because the last two Throwdown episodes I’ve seen (battle-Doughnut included) have used blinded judges. And how hard was it to watch when Bobby actually beats a small-time seafood chowder maker from Williamsburg Brooklyn?! Bobby shows up unannounced, embarrasses the hell out of the guy in front of all his friends, and drives off in his shiny black pickup back to Manhattan. It's just a totally ill-conceived idea for television show.

But back to Doughnuts. To celebrate the Doughnut Plant’s 7th anniversary, Mark Isreal and co are throwing a Doughnut Disco on a West Manhattan pier. As expected, Mark thinks all the cameras are there to film the event for his Food Network profile. Then Bobby Flay shows up.

Mark looks stunned as Bobby explains what’s happening, but agrees to the throwdown (I'm starting to hate this word). As Bobby walks away, Mark’s expression turns agitated. “What is this?! He tricked me into this! I’m not doing it!” (or words to that effect). Then comes a shot of a nervous looking Flay – as if thinking, this has never happened before. Now what? Next we see Isreal’s assistant giving him a pep talk and finally announcing, “We’ll do it. We’ll do it.” The only catch is Mark refuses to make any doughnuts from scratch. He says he doesn’t have the right equipment with him, and that he will only compete if he can use the pre-made Doughnuts he brought with him to the Disco. Flay agrees to the terms.

This whole episode really bothered me. The Doughnut plant is one of my all time favorite doughnut-houses, and witnessing such childish behavior from its founder was upsetting.

Bobby starts by unveiling his ever-so-chefy blackberry and white-chocolate ganache-filled yeast-raised with hazelnuts. Mark counters with his Chocolate Blackout – a chocolate cake doughnut stuffed with chocolate pudding – and a raspberry-glazed (the chunks of fresh fruit in the glaze look amazing). But the competitors can only submit one entry to the judges. So Mark pulls out his secret weapon – his popular Tres Leches Cake Doughnut. Based on the tradiaional Mexican cake recipe, the TL is a cake-doughnut injected with three different types of milk.

Mark released the Tres Leches this past May in honor of Cinco de Mayo. I happened to stop by the day it was released (I used to spend a lot of time at the Plant) and spoke with Mark: “We may have to keep this one on the menu. Everyone seems to love it," he said.

While we know the Tres Leches is top-notch (Blognut gave it a near perfect 9.8), Bobby’s sounds equally spectacular. He busts out a Bourbon Pecan-glazed (which he likens to a Paula Dean creation). Now they try each others. “That’s really good,” Bobby says with a mouthful of doughnut. “Doughy,” says Mark in reaction to Flay’s. Why must this guy be so unlikable?

In walk the judges – two NYPD cops. When asked what they look for in a Doughnut, one of the cops responds, “I want them light and not messy, so I can eat them on the go.” They start with Bobby’s Bourbon Pecan. “It’s too gooey, and the nuts would get all over my uniform. Plus, it’s challenging to chew.” And now Mark’s. “It’s fresh and airy. Just what I look for in a Doughnut. I do like the flavor of the Bourbon Pecan, but it’s not quite there. The Tres Leches wins.”

Mark looks relieved and smirks at the camera. He exchanges a painfully awkward handshake with Bobby, who flashes a toothy faux smile. At the beginning of the show, Flay had praised the Doughnut Plant as being his favorite Doughnut shop, and reported being a regular customer. But I’m pretty sure, that thanks to an awful premise for a television show, and a catty, unreceptive Doughnut Maker named Mark, he’ll never set foot in the Plant again.

But like I said at the beginning of this post, THANK YOU Bobby for throwing down with Mr. Isreal, because thanks to hundreds of people a day Google-ing “Tres Leches Doughnut,” Blognut’s readership has nearly doubled.

Rate My Nut

2006-10-19T18:00:00.000-04:00

Blognut would like to introduce our new and improved 5-Nut rating scale. In an effort to cram as many Doughnuts onto our site as possible, we're doing away with the 10 point scale and replacing it with five delicious, miniature plain glazed Nuts. We will be assigning all previously-eaten Doughnuts a new rating in the coming weeks, so bear with us (and yes, we'll be using half-Nuts).

5-Nut Rating Scale:

Don't Eat This Nut -

Better than no Nut -

OK Nut -

Choice Nut -

A Nut among Nuts -

Voodoo Revisited #5

2006-10-16T17:09:00.000-04:00

Continued from part 4

OK, so this is it. The fifth and final installment of Voodoo Revisited. I realize you're all probably sick to death of me yammering about Pacific Northwest Nuts, with all their cereal ostentation and artificially-flavored powder. But a menu as extensive and outlandish as Voodoo's deserves such attention, and who knows when Blognut will get to Portland again? Plus, how many Doughnut shops offer Swahili lessons every Monday night!?

You might think it's unreasonable to visit the same Doughnut shop three times in one day. Especially since in part 3 we preached the importance of moderating one's daily Nut intake. But this was our last day in Portland, and impending fear that this was our last chance to set foot inside the great Voodoo Doughnut for quite some time, drove our hunger to previously unattained levels. So with another cup of Stumpy joe in hand, Tuesday morning we entered Voodoo for the third-to-last time.

Though we only bought one Nut, it carried the weight of at least a dozen (both literally and figuratively). Named for the posse of assistants and friends who accompanied Elvis from 1956 until the day he died, the Memphis Mafia is infamous around Portland. You can't be a super-sized banana fritter, topped with peanut butter, mounds of glaze, peanuts and chocolate chips and not build up some sort of a reputation. And how does it compare with The Doughnut Plant's equally Elvis-inspired Peanut Butter Glazed stuffed with Banana Cream? Just as delicious but far more intimidating, with its mound of toppings and mercuric density. And while it definitely brings to mind the King's classic grilled peanut butter and naner sandwich, the MM has much more happening in terms of flavor and texture thanks to the massive hardened globs of glaze, chocolate chips and crunchy peanuts. Plus the banana flavor is way more potent then you think it's going to be. A Nut among Nuts, the Memphis Mafia is certainly near the top of the Voodoo roster.

Now I forget what exactly we did next. But I know we basically killed time until it felt appropriate to return to Voodoo without seeming insane to the girl working the register. "Hello again," said the Doughnut Girl, "Back for more I see!" "Yep. Just wanted to see if you had any of those really big glazed Doughnuts?" "I assume you mean the Tex-ass. And no, we don't. But if you check back in a few hours we should have some." Perfect. Now we had an excuse to go back for a third time in one day. But as long as we were there, why not pick up a few Nuts to tide us over, you know?

So we ordered a Tang-fastic and a Butter Fingering (Voodoo just doesn't stop with these cleverly perverse names). We ate them both in the car on the way to the Bridgeport Brewery in the Pearl District, similar to NYC's Meatpacking district, minus all the idiots and celebrities.

The Tang-fastic was fang-tastic. A plain cake Nut with vanilla frosting, sprinkled with America's favorite powdered kitsch (although I don't know anyone who actually drinks it). And they definitely don't skimp on the Tang, as you can see by the ever-so-orange photo above. The foundation for the Tang-fastic is Voodoo's frosted plain cake (our first ever Voodoo Nut by the way - see Part 1), but the powerful Tangy bite shadows any semblence of taste similarity. And while the three mini marshmallows resting atop the Nut don't do much in the way of flavor, they are nice to look at. Sort of a prize for getting to the center, like one of those European Christmas cakes with jewelry hidden inside. Except no one loses any teeth when they get to the marshmallows.

Next up, the Butter Fingering. Back in July, field-correspondent Beta Blognut doled out a perfect 10.0 to this candy-coated Nut (which he referred to as the Butterfinger Ring, and was appropriately reprimanded for). And after trying it for myself, I'd have to agree. Devil's-food cake dough, vanilla frosting and loads of Butterfinger crumbs make for an absolutely perfect Nut. Voodoo has successfully joined one of my favorite Candy Bars (second only to 5th Avenue, the most underrated candy bar of all time) with my favorite of all foods. Well done.

For the next few hours we downed microbrews at Bridgeport, resting up for our final go at Voodoo.

Alright. We'd given them enough time to make the Tex-ass. It was nightfall and our plane would leave in two hours, so this was our last chance at the giant Nut. A short drive later and we found ourselves walking into Voodoo for the last time - a sad occasion for sure. But the three giant Doughnuts resting on a tray behind the counter soon lifted our mood. "We'll have a Tex-ass please. And while you're at it, throw in a Voodoo Man, a Peanut Butter Oreo (which I think is called the Ol' Dirty Bastard) and a Bacon Maple Bar." What a way to close our Portland Nut Experience - one Doughnut covered in greasy pork, one flaunting a pretzel phallus and one the size of my head (plus the Peanut Butter Oreo).

Voodoo Doll.

We stepped outside and while standing beneath the glowing Voodoo sign, bit deeply into our doughy voodoo doll. He bled raspberry jelly. Basically a chocolate-frosted jelly-filled, save the tiny pretzel stick protruding from his nether region, the Nut tasted far simpler than it looked.

We then pulled out the Peanut Butter Oreo, which is Voodoo at its best. A fat and airy ball of yeast dough smeared with chocolate icing, peanut butter and crumbled oreos, the PBO was absolutely REEE-DICULOUS. It's certainly the most decadent Nut we had at Voodoo, but without the overwhelming sweetness of the cereal-based Nuts we swallowed in Part 2. It's so complex, it's hard to really know what's happening while chewing it. A blast chocolate gives way to a powerful Oreoness, both of which disappear once the peanut butter hits. It's a chewy, gobby mess of delicious.

Mrs. Blognut holding Tex-ass.

We then pulled out the Tex-ass. This was hands down the most impressive Nut we'd ever seen. Something about the plain-glazed simplicity inflated to such epic proportions had Blognut mesmerized - we just couldn't bring ourselves to eat it. We passed it back and forth for nearly 10 minutes, neither of us able to make the first move. Instead we put it back in the box, agreeing to freeze it and try again next year on our anniversary. And that was it.

On the way to the airport Mrs. Blognut asked me if I was sick of doughnuts yet. "No," I replied.

The next morning, sitting at our breakfast table, we dined on our final Voodoo Nut - the Bacon Maple Bar. A work of genius really, the BMB is the pancakes, the syrup and the bacon, all in one – it's the complete breakfast. We savored every last bite of this salty-sweet creation, happy to be home, but longing for our next taste of Voodoo.

Voodoo Box.

Parting Shot.

Doughnut Scores:

Memphis Mafia -

Fang-tastic -

Butter Fingering -

Voodoo Doughnut (voodoo doll) -

Peanut Butter Oreo (ODB?) -

Maple Bacon Bar -

Tex-ass - score will be announced September 24th, 2007

Voodoo Revisited #4

2006-10-11T18:30:00.000-04:00

Continued from part 3 (to get the most out of your Blognut experience, and to familiarize yourself with any necessary back-story, make sure to read Voodoo Revisited in chronological order)

It was now Monday morning. Having nearly kicked our sugar hangover, Mrs. Blognut and I were more than ready for our next batch of Doughnuts. We rolled up to Voodoo around 10:00 that morning agreeing to avoid anything even remotely involving cereal. Now Blognut loves Doughnuts. And Blognut loves eating lots of Doughnuts in a short amount of time. But the 5+ Nuts we had the day before may have been slightly over-ambitious. When embarking on a 4-day Doughnut binge, one must pace oneself. So this time we only ordered three: a Blazer Blunt, a Grape Ape, and an Arnold Palmer.

We then took our Bag of Nuts down the street to another Portland staple – Stumptown Coffee. With a DJ table in the back, and ambient electronica pulsing through the room, the ultra-modern Stumptown space definitely lacks the warm and friendly atmosphere most indie coffee shops try so hard to achieve. But they're well aware of their disaffected coolness, happy to serve the slews of tattooed hipsters who pour into the place throughout the day. We each ordered a house blend, took a seat at a very Jetsons-looking V-shaped glass table in the back and prepared to take a long hard drag from the Blazer Blunt.

Most likely based on the assumption that NBA players like to smoke up, the BB was created in honor of the Portland Trailblazers. A cinnamon yeast donut, tapered just like the real thing, with maple frosting and blazing red sprinkles on the tip, this blunt could most definitely hold its own against Cheech and Chong's fat zeppelin. On game days, if the Blazers score 85 points the Blunt sells for $.85, if they don't it goes for $1. The dough is Voodoo's standard issue yeast-raised – light, a little chewy and filled with negative space – coated with a perfectly balanced cinnamon-sugar mixture. The frosting harks back to our Sunday afternoon Maple Bar while the sprinkles provide a final bit of texture to this wonderful and innovative Nut. Plus the convenient elongated shape makes it easy to eat.

Once finished with both coffee and Blunt, we headed back to the hotel to pack up for our day trip to the rocky Oregon coast. It was here that we enjoyed our second Nut of the day, the Grape Ape. Again, the Ape is a yeast-raised Doughnut, but this time smeared with vanilla frosting and sprinkled with bright purple "grape powder" (whatever that is). This Nut is pure genius, really some of Voodoo's finest work. There's really not much to say about it other than that it tastes like a big swig of Grape Crush, and is so far our favorite Voodoo Doughnut.

Our final Nut of the day is another feat of flavor ingenuity, named for the famed summertime enjoyment, the Arnold Palmer (half iced tea and half lemonade). Just like the drink, this small, plain-cake Doughnut, topped with vanilla frosting and sprinkled with lemon and tea powder tastes light, sugary and refreshing. It soon has us sitting poolside with a lobster-red sun burn and a big bag of Pepperidge Farm Goldfish crackers, a common Blognut childhood occurrence often accompanied by mom's self-mixed Palmer. The best part of the AP is a single green Fruit Loop frozen mid-fall into the Doughnut hole.

We finished the Nut, hopped in the car and began our windy, mountainous drive to the coast.

Doughnut Scores:

Blazer Blunt -

Grape Ape (Blognut loves faux grape) -

Voodoo Revisited #3

2006-10-08T18:12:00.000-04:00

Continued from Part 2

With the vow renewal behind us, Mrs. Blognut and I had two full days left in Portland with nothing left to do but celebrate by scarfing down as many Northwest Nuts as possible. And we didn’t waste any time. Before returning to our hotel the night of the ceremony, Tres made sure we had plenty of Voodoo to accompany our Dominic Doughnut (aka: best Doughnut of all time). He stuffed a box with a random assortment of Nuts and handed it to us on the way out. We said our goodbyes and thanked him for remarrying us beneath a giant Holy Doughnut, promising to return the next day for another batch of Nuts. As I mentioned in Part 2, that night we dined on Dominic. Three out of the five Doughnuts Tres had packed for us were topped with cereal, so we thought it best to save them for the morning.
So the next day we got up at sunrise (still on NYC time), called room service for a pot of Peet’s and opened our big pink box of Nuts. We started with the Triple Chocolate Penetration. It was absolutely insane - moist and dense devil’s food cake, rich and creamy chocolate frosting, and a massive collection of Cocoa Puffs stuck on top form a gooey hunk of chocolate decadence. I don’t know if it was the sugar, or the caffeine hiding in all the chocolate, but after finishing the TCP I felt like I’d mainlined a gallon of espresso. I was seriously running around the room like a rabid monkey (and I now knew where Tres gets all his mad energy from). The only downfall of this magnificent Nut was the slightly-stale Puffs. But I’m sure this was due to the fact that it had been nearly 18 hours since this TCP had been made. Cereal can only be exposed to air for so long before going bad, you know?

Not long after I came down from my frenzied sugar-haze, we bit into our second Nut of the morning – the Bloop Loops. Definitely the most colorful selection offered by Voodoo, the Bloop is a frosted yeast-raised Doughnut topped with loads of Fruit Loops (again, through no fault of Voodoo, mostly stale). If there’s one thing sweeter (sweet like sugar-sweet, not like “rad”) than a bunch of Cocoa Puffs stuck on a Doughnut, it’s a bunch of Fruit Loops stuck on a Doughnut. The light and airy yeast dough tried to bring the flavor down to earth, but went nearly unnoticed in the setting of such an intense sugar-overload. This Nut had me right back in the throws of hyperglycemic delusion and tasted every bit as good as its chocolate predecessor. It was arguably the sweetest thing I’ve ever eaten.

I lied about the Bloop Loops being the sweetest thing I’ve ever eaten. The Captain Crunch Doughnut (see above) was by far the sweetest thing I’ve had. Essentially identical to the Bloop, but with Captain Crunch’s Crunch Berries instead of Loops, this Nut was the most challenging yet. You know those pure maple sugar candies you get in places like Vermont or Western New York? And you know how they’re so sweet that after two bites your mouth starts to tingle and you’re in desperate need of a glass of salt water? Well this was sweeter. I tried analyzing the taste and producing some sort of description for you, the Blognut reader – but was only able to retain intermittent snippets of flavor in between waves of ensuing sugar shock. An occasional glint of creamy vanilla frosting with a periodic burst of faux-berry from the Crunch, but mostly just SUGAR! I was only able to stomach a few bites before I ceded victory and returned it to its home in the pink box. It would take three sessions spread throughout the day before I was able to finish it.

At this point things this got less exciting. But the simplicity of our last two Nuts was a welcome change after having downed three gaudy cereal-based varieties. The tiny Blueberry Cake tasted like DD’s Nut of the same name, but with a stronger blueberry pop, like the kind you get from those sugary canned berries in boxes of muffin mix. The Maple Bar also mimicked Dunkin’s version: soft and airy yeast-raised dough with an intensely maple frosting. Both were delicious.
So having eaten five Dougnuts that day, plus a few bites of Dominic, we decided to hold off on any more Nuts until the following day. We spent the afternoon downing hoppy Rogue Ales and contemplating which Voodoo selections to try next.

Rogue Ales Distillery and Public House.

Rogue Sampler: Imperial IPA, Brutel Bitter, Uberfest Pilsner and St. Rogue Red (plus underwear).

Doughnut scores:

Triple Chocolate Penetration -

Bloop Loops -

Captain Crunch (I deducted .5 because I'm pretty sure this Nut gave me my first ever cavity) -

Blueberry Cake -

Maple Bar -

Voodoo Revisited #2

2006-10-04T20:03:00.000-04:00

Continued from part 1

After wetting our appetites with a Dirty Snowball, Mrs. Blognut and I trounce around Portland all afternoon anxiously awaiting our 9:00 PM vow renewal. We stop in one of the city's umpteen vintage clothing shops (I think it was Red Light) and walk out with a gorgeous blue polyester blazer and an equally poly black neck tie to go with my jeans (entire vow renewal outfit = $10). Around 8:30 that night, we put on our formal wear and head over to Voodoo. In the car (a rented Ford Escape), Mrs. Blognut says to me, "Can you believe we've already been married an entire year!? I wonder how many doughnuts you've eaten during our first year of marriage?" "I lost count last October," I respond.

When we arrive, the place is packed. Middle-aged couples, swarms of hipsters and the occasional homeless fellow, mill about the doorway. All brought together by the unifying power of the Nut. We step inside the tiny store space and check in with the Donut-Lady behind the counter. The next thing we know, a man with long red hair wearing an orange lei and a straw hat comes frantically running out of the kitchen as if peaking on some doughnut-fueled psychedelic sugar high. "Hi I'm Tres, like the number three in Spanish. So you're the ones getting married, huh?" "We're already married, we're just getting our vows renewed" we tell him. "Well let's get on with the wedding!!" he says, as he runs in the back to grab his "supplies."

So this was our first meeting with Tres Shannon, who cofounded Voodoo three years ago with his Doughnut-Partner Kenneth "Cat Daddy" Pogson (whom Mrs. Blognut made the vow renewal arrangements with via email). With no prior Nut-Experience, the two of them enrolled in "Doughnut-School" in Los Angeles where they learned how to "handle a rolling pin" and apparently fed a maple bar to Brad Pitt. You can read the complete Voodoo story here.

Tres returns carrying a big pink box and asks us to stand under the Holy Doughnut (see The Biggest Doughnut We've Ever Seen in Part 1). "Open it," he says. It seems Mrs. Blognut and the boys at Voodoo had conspired to create an enormous Nut-Representation of our cat Dominic. The three of us stare down into the box at what is most definitely the finest Doughnut we've ever laid eyes on.

"Life is like a doughnut," says Tres, "well, actually more like a cruller."He then asks us to each hold one side of the box while we tell the story of how we met. I won't get into the mushy details here because afterall, this is a Doughnut blog and I intend not to lose focus. He takes the box from us and sets it on the counter beneath the giant Doughnut-Altar. He then has us hold hands. "Now look up at Isaac for spiritual guidance" (or something like this – I can't remember what he said exactly). We look over our shoulders and for the first time notice a velvet painting of Isaac Hayes hanging above the front door. After staring at Isaac for a few seconds, Tres retrieves a Frosted Cake Doughnut with colored sprinkles and instructs us to feed each other a bite – which we do. The cake is moist and solid with creamy frosting and loads of sprinkles - simple and delicious.

Dominic in a Box.

Wedding Nut.

Oh, and I forgot to mention that throughout the ceremony, this panhandler who'd followed us in, continually asked us for "a couple dollars" to mend his "flat tire." After Mrs. Blognut and I had each finished our respective bites of doughnut, I called him over and gave him a bite too – though I didn't feed it to him.

At this point a huge crowd of hip emo-kids stroll in looking for a Doughnut-Fix. Tres then holds up our hands and announces to everyone that a wedding is taking place and that they are welcome to watch. "Man! You're getting married in a Doughnut shop. That's so cool!" says one of the hip kids. Then he gives me a high-five. Tres now has us hold hands again and say a few more words about each other. When we're finished he announces us husband and wife. As we kiss he throws a handful of Fruit Loops in the air deeming them "Tiny Doughnuts." And that's it! We've now been rehitched at Voodoo Doughnut.

We stick around for a while talking Doughnuts with Tres and the steady stream of patrons. "We're going to be featured on Jay Leno on Wednesday," Tres tells us, "And Anthony Bourdain stopped by to do a feature for one of his shows." It seems everyone wants a taste of Voodoo. "You want to see the 20 foot man?" he then asks. "Sure," I answer. The three of us step outside to a now jam-packed side walk. In the street sits a school bus, atop which a free-jazz band blows and spews a cacophonous mixture of Ornette Coleman and Captain Beefheart. In front of the bus stands an enormous metal robot-looking man-puppet pounding away on a Fender and being controlled in marionette fashion by two rope handlers at his feet. A young girl runs around with a cymbal attached to a rope periodically crashing it to the ground (surprisingly, somewhat rhythmically). And then, in a nod to another Pacific Northwest ax-grinder, this 20 foot Voodoo Chile sets his guitar aflame and watches it burn while horns wail behind him. For the grand finale, he hoists an organ and slams repeatedly his giant steel hands crudely against the keys. Before long, the organ too gets set on fire. The weird part is that we later find out that Mrs. Blognut used to work with the man who created the 20 foot man, back when we lived in Virginny.

20 Foot Man Playing Fender.

Once back at the hotel, we dive into the Dominic Doughnut - it's a buttermilk cake Nut covered in rich, white vanilla frosting, but with orange on the head and tail to match the real kitty. The dough is the most dense we've encountered in a doughnut - almost scone consistency, but not as dry. It's absolutely the perfect doughnut, partly due to taste and partly to circumstance. We savor it for the next 3 days, starting each morning with a giant bite of Dominic.

Look for Part 3 this weekend, when the Doughnut-Binge begins.

Doughnut Scores:

Vanilla Frosted -

Dominic Doughnut -

Voodoo Revisited #1

2006-10-01T17:56:00.000-04:00

A couple weeks ago, the night before we left on our Parisian-Donut-Expedition, Mrs. Blognut surprised me with what might be the greatest anniversary present of all time: a trip to Portland, Oregon to get our vows renewed at Voodoo Doughnut. Really, could Blognut ask for anything more? And while Blognut field-correspondent Beta Blognut dabbled in Voodoo back in July as part of his two-part series on the Pacific Nutwest, this was my first ever visit to both Portland and Voodoo. So pull up your computer chairs and enjoy the first in a four-part series chronicling this momentous event and exploring the warped and twisted world of Voodoo.

While often lumped together as the nation's foremost avant garde Donut-Institutions, NYC's Doughnut Plant, and Portland's Voodoo Doughnut could not be more different in terms of Donut-Philosophy. The Plant relies on a more artisanal approach, with complex doughs, glazes and consistencies, while Voodoo prefers to tug the heart strings a bit more, reminding its patrons of that youthful willingness to mash up any set of random flavors so long as the result was sweet and delicious (kind of like when Ally Sheedy puts cereal and pixie stick on her sandwich in The Breakfast Club – but I guess that was more a gesture of adolescent defiance than flavor-pairing curiosity, but whatever). Biting into a Doughnut Plant Nut challenges the palate with flavors like Lavender Glazed and Tres Leches Cake, while munching a Voodoo results in a mouthful of Cocoa Puffs.

But while Voodoo's preparations are founded in childhood longing, in actuality they're considerably more adult. With suggestive Donut names like the Cock-n-Balls (the shape matches the name) and Triple Chocolate Penetration, and with a logo proclaiming "The Magic is in the Hole," it's clear that Voodoo's mind rests proudly in the gutter. And such a mindset fits in nicely with its city's anything-goes attitude, which the fellow on the plane sitting next to us so perfectly captured:

Guy on Plane: "This your first time to Portland?"

Us: "Yep. Have any recommendations for things to see and do?"

Guy on Plane: "You bet. You guys like strip clubs?"

Though an odd thing to say to someone you've just met, we assumed he was joking and forced a laugh.

Guy on Plane: "I'm not joking. My wife and I go all the time."

Us: "Really?"

Guy on Plane: "Yep. Portland's a free thinking city. Strip clubs are everywhere out here. People from Texas try and come up here and close em down. But it's in the constitution that Oregon be allowed to have strip clubs."

We had no idea what the hell he was talking about. But he was right about there being a lot of strip clubs. And it should be noted that Guy on Plane had a beard, orange tinted Oakley's (which he wore the entire flight) and, to the dismay of the other passengers, a howling German Shepard puppy. But back to Voodoo…

Our renewal was scheduled to take place on Saturday night at 9:00 PM (at which point it would be midnight back home and thus the beginning of our anniversary). But do you honestly think Blognut could wait until 9 PM to get his hands on a Voodoo Nut?! Of course not. Afterall, I've been anticipating this marvelous day since starting this stupid blog back in February. So first thing Saturday morning I dragged Mrs. Blognut to 22 Southwest 3rd Avenue for my first ever taste of the Voodoo.

Storefront.

Support your local doughnut.

The Voodoo storefront is beautifully simplistic, consisting of nothing more then a single door in a plain, brick warehouse-looking building. At night, something called the Cruller Chandelier of Life shines brightly through a small window above the door. The shop itself is tiny – and crammed with loads of Doughnut paraphernalia. On the back wall hangs the biggest doughnut I've ever seen (which we would later find out serves as the altar for weddings and vow renewals). A single rotating display of doughnuts shows off the brightly colored and oddly shaped collection of Voodoo Nuts available that day (a movie of which can be seen here thanks to field correspondent Beta Blognut).

The biggest doughnut I've ever seen.

Rotating doughnuts.

Confident we would have our fill of Nuts that night during the ceremony, I showed a surprising amount of self-control and only ordered one – the Dirty Snowball. Not trying to sound shallow, this was an attractive doughnut - and lets face it, Donut culture is a superficial world where appearance can carry nearly as much weight as taste. The Snowball is a chocolate cake Doughnut, topped with pink marshmallow glaze and shredded coconut, with a big glob of peanut butter resting on top (taking Zappa's "don't you eat that yellow snow," one step further). The dough is slightly sweet and has a soft, moist consistency, while the frosting is sugary and creamy and balanced in texture by the crisp strands of coconut. But once we hit the peanut butter there was no turning back – it took over every taste bud and provided a gooey delicious finish. What a perfect way to start our three-day feast-of-Voodoo-gluttony.

Dirty Snowball.

Stay tuned for Part 2 of our trip to Portland to see Mrs. Blognut and I get hitched for the second time. We'll also be introducing Mr. Voodoo himself, Tres Shannon.

Doughnut Score:

Dirty Snowball -

An American Donut in Paris

2006-09-27T20:21:00.000-04:00

With the exception of one overly-gamey piece of chicken, just about everything we ate in Paris was aces. Fresh baguettes. Buttered almond croissants. Nutella crepes. All aces. So why are the Donuts so awful?! Seriously, we thought for sure the culinary center of the world, and the birthplace of the Beignet, would certainly fry up a top-notch Nut. Not so. Many of the Parisian Beignets and Donuts we encountered were nearly inedible and every one of them scores near the bottom of the Blognut 10-point scale. Maybe it's that this overly-sophisticated food Mecca is inherently unable to successfully produce a food as simple as a Nut. In fact, I doubt most Parisians would even consider Donuts a worthy feed for their fattened geese, as even fois gras liver can't detoxify something so vile. This said, France does have a rich, if cloudy, donut history.

The word "Beignet" comes from the early Celtic word "bigne," meaning "to raise." In France, it would later come to mean "fritter," referring essentially to any clump of fried dough. Exactly when the Beignet arose in France is unclear, but what is known is that 18th century French colonists brought the recipe for so called "Beignet Fritters" to New Orleans, Louisiana, where they exploded with popularity and have since become associated with the city. Though there are numerous variations on the Beignet, the base recipe calls for deep-fried dough, usually sprinkled with confectioner's sugar (like so many other International Nuts). Over the years, French culinary tradition has snubbed its fried creation and the modern day French beignet has become a sub-standard, recycled version of the 20th century American donut.

Without further ado, here's a run down of all the crappy donuts I ate in Paris:

Beignet de Framboise (Raspberry-filled Beignet) - sitting in a large, empty glass display case were these two pathetic little donuts. They tasted like stale dinner rolls stuffed with cheap and sugary raspberry jelly.

Here's a picture of me eating a disgusting Beignet de Framboise on the street and washing it down with a Kronenbourg. The only thing worse than a French Donut is a French Beer.

This donut sucked.

More sucky donuts. This time, they were actually called "Donuts."

I've saved the worst for last. This is a Beignet au Miel, or Honey Beignet (pictured above), which we purchased in Montmarte as a pre-dinner snack. It weighed roughly two pounds and had the consistency of a hard, dried-up sponge. It tasted like burnt plastic with a slight honey aftertaste and was hands down the worst thing we ingested the entire trip. We took one bite and threw the rest in la poubelle.

Blognut would like to apologize...

2006-09-27T18:33:00.000-04:00

...for any negative health consequences incurred from reading this blog.
Health officials suck.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15020846/

Plus, Blognut need not be reminded of the cardiovascular consequences of the nearly 2 dozen VooDoo doughnuts we've consumed in the past 4 days (3 of which were nearly the size of my head).

Blognut Goes West

2006-09-22T10:56:00.000-04:00

With Parisian Nuts and VooDoo Part 2 slated for next week, Blognut-in-law has decided to step in and fill our pages with a travel tale of her own.

This life-experienced roving researcher, and ancestor of Blognut and Yuk, was given the task of pursuing the best doughnut in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. I felt up to this, as the pursuit of doughnuts has been given a high priority in our family.

Jackson is a small town. It is wealthy and western. After a lengthy two hour search, and the questioning of many witnesses, this researcher could not find a single doughnut. I inquired extensively and no one knew where to find doughnuts. Perhaps that is why they don’t call it Doughnut Hole, Wyoming.

I happened to be only one of a dozen other life experienced folks touring Jackson Hole and the Grand Tetons. My cohort’s culinary finds consisted of game and ice cream. At any rate, the most promising eatery for something close to a doughnut was “The Bunnery” a bakery and restaurant at Hole in the Wall in Jackson Hole. They offered some delicious looking baked goods and we chose the Sticky bun (Cinnamon roll). It was nice and large.

We brown-bagged it and loaded it into the van. Our first stop was at Lewis Falls....chosen as much for it’s port-a-potty as it’s beauty (although it WAS beautiful). We divvied up the bun into 12 pieces (yes, it was large enough) and tasted, savored and rated. We gave it a 7 because although the crust was nice and flaky, the raisins soft and delicious, we found it a bit on the dry side. It certainly qualified as being sticky. We just have one question! What’s a doughnut junkie to do in Jackson?

Just a few of Blognut-in-law's traveling companions.

Le Rock

2006-09-20T21:06:00.000-04:00

Still in Paris. It's definitely the best city I've ever been to - which is saying a lot, because I grew up in Buffalo. While I'm currently working up a Parisian-Nut piece, I just wanted to ask you something: after a night of slurping wine at the brasserie, Mrs. Blognut and I returned to our hotel and for the first time turned on French TV. It seemed really bad, but it was hard to tell for sure because it was all in French. The one show we were able to get in English was Conan, whose guest was The Rock. Out of nowhere The Rock mentions that he loves donuts. Then he says that Dunkin wants to name a Donut after him, at which point Conan says that this is probably the greatest American honor. So does anyone know if this is true?

Blognut Update

2006-09-14T12:04:00.000-04:00

So Blognut will be traveling for a week or so. But think of it as a business trip since we'll definitely be downing some fat Beignets in Paris and then, to ensure that we're adequately jet-lagged, dabbling with VooDoo in Portland. In the meantime check these out:

The New Yorker reports on the political role of the Donut...

...and Timeout NY features an international donut roundup (Of which we've only had one!! The orange-infused Indian fritters from Tabla - I guess this means we've got a lot of work to do when we get back).